Seems to be about the tug-and-pull nature of resentment and love. The narrator, on one hand, is enamored with a girl, yet because she fails to so much as acknowledge him, he despises her simultaneously. He's sickened by her, but by himself as well for allowing to be so captivated by her. Hence, he wants to be free of the spell she's inadvertently cast upon him, yet at once revels being captive in that's what it takes to keep a vestige of her in his life.
Seems to be about the tug-and-pull nature of resentment and love. The narrator, on one hand, is enamored with a girl, yet because she fails to so much as acknowledge him, he despises her simultaneously. He's sickened by her, but by himself as well for allowing to be so captivated by her. Hence, he wants to be free of the spell she's inadvertently cast upon him, yet at once revels being captive in that's what it takes to keep a vestige of her in his life.