I think it is about how one can look back on the past and remember all the great times and how much you've changed into the person you are now. This doesnt mean that tom is "realizing that AM! is over" but that they are turning into something that he never knew would come "I am, taking all I know about nihilism, and trying to build it into a life."
I think it is about how one can look back on the past and remember all the great times and how much you've changed into the person you are now. This doesnt mean that tom is "realizing that AM! is over" but that they are turning into something that he never knew would come "I am, taking all I know about nihilism, and trying to build it into a life."