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This is probally wrong, but i have a feeling that it was the way he was feeling because of his fans, there trying to be like him, but he thinks that is a bad thing to try to do, because in his mind, he was a bad person... idk, just a guess
This is probally wrong, but i have a feeling that it was the way he was feeling because of his fans, there trying to be like him, but he thinks that is a bad thing to try to do, because in his mind, he was a bad person... idk, just a guess