i agree that she's trying to sober up, but i don't think she's actually angry with those who didn't try to help. when she sings, "I hide all the bottles in places/ They find and confront me with pain in their eyes," i feel like she has people who are trying to help, but she doesn't want or cannot accept the help. when she sings, "And the loving spirit that follows me/ Watching helplessly, will always forgive me," i feel somewhat like she's upset with her friends/family for enabling by forgiving, but i also think that she's partially taking advantage of the forgiveness.
she says that she'll try to change, but she knows (and so do they) that it's an empty promise. alcoholism is quite difficult to break, and no one is ever truly free from any addiction. also true with most addictions is the correlation that can be drawn between the addiction and some form of low self-esteem. when she's wanting to die alone, she's beating herself up for pushing people out of her life, knowing that she can't be in a healthy relationship with a person while she's still committed to the addiction.
i agree that she's trying to sober up, but i don't think she's actually angry with those who didn't try to help. when she sings, "I hide all the bottles in places/ They find and confront me with pain in their eyes," i feel like she has people who are trying to help, but she doesn't want or cannot accept the help. when she sings, "And the loving spirit that follows me/ Watching helplessly, will always forgive me," i feel somewhat like she's upset with her friends/family for enabling by forgiving, but i also think that she's partially taking advantage of the forgiveness. she says that she'll try to change, but she knows (and so do they) that it's an empty promise. alcoholism is quite difficult to break, and no one is ever truly free from any addiction. also true with most addictions is the correlation that can be drawn between the addiction and some form of low self-esteem. when she's wanting to die alone, she's beating herself up for pushing people out of her life, knowing that she can't be in a healthy relationship with a person while she's still committed to the addiction.