The singer of Assemblage 23 has bipolar disorder, Zaguis is correct. And that's what this song is about.
"Even though I know it's only chemical, these peaks and valleys are beginning to take their toll." --
He's talking about the violent highs(manic episodes) and the extreme depressive lows(depressive episodes). And he's getting tired of being up and down all the time.(Most bipolar people are, thus the completed suicide rate of ~10%-20% amongst people with bipolar disorder; compared to the normal population rate of about .01%) He realizes that it's only chemicals in his mind that are causing his extreme ups and downs, but he's powerless to control it.
"Try to convice myself that all it takes is time. But the most derisive voice I hear is mine." -- This is about what he tells himself during his depressive episodes. That it'll go away with time. And the voice that brings him down the most is his own.
"It opens all the scars on me
It leaves me shaken in my belief
It takes my hand just to drag me down
It makes me a stranger in the crowd" -- First three lines talk about his depressive episodes, and how he realizes that it's by his own thoughts that he's brought down. It makes him a 'stranger' because most people don't understand what it's like to go through bipolar disorder.
"Give me isolation just for now
I feel a hard rain coming down
I promise that I will be back soon
But for now I'll return to my cocoon"--
He's entering a depressive episode. He wants to be left alone for now until his depressive episode goes away. He likens it to a cocoon because he crawls inside his little hole in his depression. But like a cocoon, the depression fades away(the cocoon opens and the butterfly emerges) and he either will be normal, hypomanic, or manic.
"There is thunder in the distance and the sky grows gray. There is lighting in the clouds in search of prey
It's not a matter of if as much as when
The clouds will break and the rainfall will begin" --
It's not if he is or isn't going to go through yet another depressive episode, it's when the next one is going to come.
"Cracks in the chrysalis spread out like tiny snakes
That hiss a litany of rumors and mistakes
But I'm afraid their cause is fraught with futility
There is nothing more that they can take from me"--
In his depression he looks to his past and has extreme regrets. He feels as if he's being destroyed(the cocoon won't hatch).
The singer of Assemblage 23 has bipolar disorder, Zaguis is correct. And that's what this song is about.
"Even though I know it's only chemical, these peaks and valleys are beginning to take their toll." -- He's talking about the violent highs(manic episodes) and the extreme depressive lows(depressive episodes). And he's getting tired of being up and down all the time.(Most bipolar people are, thus the completed suicide rate of ~10%-20% amongst people with bipolar disorder; compared to the normal population rate of about .01%) He realizes that it's only chemicals in his mind that are causing his extreme ups and downs, but he's powerless to control it.
"Try to convice myself that all it takes is time. But the most derisive voice I hear is mine." -- This is about what he tells himself during his depressive episodes. That it'll go away with time. And the voice that brings him down the most is his own.
"It opens all the scars on me It leaves me shaken in my belief It takes my hand just to drag me down It makes me a stranger in the crowd" -- First three lines talk about his depressive episodes, and how he realizes that it's by his own thoughts that he's brought down. It makes him a 'stranger' because most people don't understand what it's like to go through bipolar disorder.
"Give me isolation just for now I feel a hard rain coming down I promise that I will be back soon But for now I'll return to my cocoon"-- He's entering a depressive episode. He wants to be left alone for now until his depressive episode goes away. He likens it to a cocoon because he crawls inside his little hole in his depression. But like a cocoon, the depression fades away(the cocoon opens and the butterfly emerges) and he either will be normal, hypomanic, or manic.
"There is thunder in the distance and the sky grows gray. There is lighting in the clouds in search of prey It's not a matter of if as much as when The clouds will break and the rainfall will begin" -- It's not if he is or isn't going to go through yet another depressive episode, it's when the next one is going to come.
"Cracks in the chrysalis spread out like tiny snakes That hiss a litany of rumors and mistakes But I'm afraid their cause is fraught with futility There is nothing more that they can take from me"-- In his depression he looks to his past and has extreme regrets. He feels as if he's being destroyed(the cocoon won't hatch).