Lyric discussion by InfraRecon 

Cover art for Deed Is Done lyrics by Dave Matthews Band

Actually, Stefan's child hadn't died until about September 1996. The Luther College version was played in February of that year. Even earlier, there was a full band version played on 10/4/95 and a Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds version played on 9/24/95. It was supposedly recorded during the Crash sessions but was scrapped.

Supposedly, this is about a fan named "Emily" who was stricken with terminal cancer (from dmbalmanac.com) - it's a clear and powerful lament over the loss of a child to cancer.