She's talking about a controlling and manipulative relationship. I would think the line about taking on water means holding in her emotions and feelings and opinions, as well as shouldering the brunt of the responsibility of the relationship.
She's realizing that she hasnt been herself in the relationship, and that she's been seeing him and thier relationship as something that it's not. hence, letting go of the fantasy. Understanding that what they had was empty, and destructive.
She's talking about a controlling and manipulative relationship. I would think the line about taking on water means holding in her emotions and feelings and opinions, as well as shouldering the brunt of the responsibility of the relationship. She's realizing that she hasnt been herself in the relationship, and that she's been seeing him and thier relationship as something that it's not. hence, letting go of the fantasy. Understanding that what they had was empty, and destructive.