This song is about depression. The badge is a sign of honor, something he is respected for and should be proud of, but he no longer cares. To him, respect and honor have no meaning. The guns represent the bad that he does, the things he is not proud of. He can not even bring himself to do these things anymore. He is on the threshold of redemption; he is knocking on heaven's door, but he is not let in. Instead he is left out in the cold. He wants to get out of the cold dark place he is in, but it is too late. He sees the long black cloud coming down, and he knows he will drown.
This song is about depression. The badge is a sign of honor, something he is respected for and should be proud of, but he no longer cares. To him, respect and honor have no meaning. The guns represent the bad that he does, the things he is not proud of. He can not even bring himself to do these things anymore. He is on the threshold of redemption; he is knocking on heaven's door, but he is not let in. Instead he is left out in the cold. He wants to get out of the cold dark place he is in, but it is too late. He sees the long black cloud coming down, and he knows he will drown.