He wishes this person would somehow secretly let him back into their life, he realizes they should not/cannot and views himself as 'evil.' We've all heard the expression 'in the closet' before, its just a dire secret. I assume it is a woman he is referring to; she can keep him hidden away metaphorically speaking, and even this small amount of contact is beyond his expectation. He just labels himself as 'evil.'
This refers directly back to the mention that he could only have contact with her in another lifetime.
He wishes this person would somehow secretly let him back into their life, he realizes they should not/cannot and views himself as 'evil.' We've all heard the expression 'in the closet' before, its just a dire secret. I assume it is a woman he is referring to; she can keep him hidden away metaphorically speaking, and even this small amount of contact is beyond his expectation. He just labels himself as 'evil.'
This refers directly back to the mention that he could only have contact with her in another lifetime.