I happen to think that this is about being foolish and insecure and loving every moment of being depressed because you know who really cares. It may take you some time to wise up and realize what reactions to your situation mean what but you haven't learned what means what. I think the parts about 'i wasted all my time trying to remember the word content was' means the speaker has realized who really cares and he can move on but he doesn't know how beause he's feigned this depression for so long.
I happen to think that this is about being foolish and insecure and loving every moment of being depressed because you know who really cares. It may take you some time to wise up and realize what reactions to your situation mean what but you haven't learned what means what. I think the parts about 'i wasted all my time trying to remember the word content was' means the speaker has realized who really cares and he can move on but he doesn't know how beause he's feigned this depression for so long.