Hmm im gonna say what Aerion said but with more constructive criticisim.
These lyrics are cliche, and angsty. I mean a lot of good music is angsty, but you have so much forced rhyme scheme in there its pitiful. I know I'm not the best writer, I don't know I'm even good, but try to avoid rhyme scheme like that, it makes it bland and predictable. "your wonder wall".. see you in the halls.. what the hell is that, seriously? Well keep writing, this isn't ALL bad, but the more your write/read the better you get. So keep it up!
...And please for the sake of all modern lyrics, dont use the word fuck so much...
Hmm im gonna say what Aerion said but with more constructive criticisim.
These lyrics are cliche, and angsty. I mean a lot of good music is angsty, but you have so much forced rhyme scheme in there its pitiful. I know I'm not the best writer, I don't know I'm even good, but try to avoid rhyme scheme like that, it makes it bland and predictable. "your wonder wall".. see you in the halls.. what the hell is that, seriously? Well keep writing, this isn't ALL bad, but the more your write/read the better you get. So keep it up!
...And please for the sake of all modern lyrics, dont use the word fuck so much...