i do not think it is about killing. i always thought that
"hold myself down with a knife on my throat" means that you hold yourself back from doing somthing that you actually desparetly want but you wouldnt do it as you know it has no good consequences. so knife on throat is merely expression. leaving desparation inside yourself and trying to get over it by yourself.
i do not think it is about killing. i always thought that "hold myself down with a knife on my throat" means that you hold yourself back from doing somthing that you actually desparetly want but you wouldnt do it as you know it has no good consequences. so knife on throat is merely expression. leaving desparation inside yourself and trying to get over it by yourself.