It sounds to me like an addiction. I'm not sure what kind, though it seems to be an addiction to a relationship or another person. In the beginning you feel good because it helps release tension and it takes your mind off of your problems, but then you realize you've got to have it to keep you going, and it feels like you've got to have it to literally keep yourself alive.
"Watch the white turn to red, it fills up the hole but it grows somewhere else instead." I think this is talking about the problems addiction can "solve", while at the same time it is creating other problems in your life.
It sounds to me like an addiction. I'm not sure what kind, though it seems to be an addiction to a relationship or another person. In the beginning you feel good because it helps release tension and it takes your mind off of your problems, but then you realize you've got to have it to keep you going, and it feels like you've got to have it to literally keep yourself alive.
"Watch the white turn to red, it fills up the hole but it grows somewhere else instead." I think this is talking about the problems addiction can "solve", while at the same time it is creating other problems in your life.