Violent Dreams

This is a beautiful song. A friend of mine lost his mother a few years ago and he told me once that this song describes perfectly the feelings of sitting in the waiting room of a hospital, not knowing if the person you love will be allright. Just thinking about that while listening to this song just shows you what an effect a song can have. This is one of my favorite JLC songs for that reason.

Jay wrote this song when his sister was in the hospital. He dedicated it to his father on his birthday, which is a little odd, but hey. Whatever works.

I just bought this CD today at the local thrift store (for a whopping 99 cents!). All I ever heard from JLC before was "Habit" and "Body Parts". I think this is a great song, and it was on repeat in my car the whole way home.

The narrator is spending the night waiting to find out whether someone he cares about will survive. She's in the hospital not because of an accident, but because of something she's done. Maybe she attempted suicide, maybe she just hurt herself, maybe she had a heart attack due to an eating disorder or overdosed. The narrator's obviously anxious, and he wants her to get better, but at the same time he's angry and resents in equal measure that he can't do enough and that he's being asked to do too much. Although he isn't culpable for the woman's actions, he still feels responsible and thinks he could've prevented it if he'd been better somehow, if he'd been more available or more insistent that she get help (Something I said/Something I did/Is bringing on this violent emergency). However, this isn't the first time something like this has happened (One more day/I'm always taking the dive), and while he's doing his best to be patient, he's preoccupied, he hasn't slept well the past few nights, and he's angry that she's put him in this situation again. He wants to help, but he also feels like she's asking too much of him by making him watch her suffer and wonder whether she'll survive over and over (All it takes/Is all I can give/All my waking hours). Although he's frightened and he feels wronged, he's not willing to give up on her yet -- partially because he feels a sense of duty towards her, and partially because he honestly loves her.