Pilot

My first thought was also Control, but more with regards to self-control. To be or at least to feel an autonomous being under some kind of state, be it mental or societal, that denies this.

The first line immediately reminds me of that other Neon Golden track, Off The Rails. A theme emerges. “He's living next to rails”, i.e, not on said rails, or indeed, off them. Which we know to be an expression referring to being out of control. I don't mean to analyse Off The Rails in full here at all, but in two lyrics with such close imagery it seems silly to completely ignore it. They are sister-songs.

In Off The Rails to be off the rails is to be inhuman, 'Now we are trains ourselves' - note that in Off The Rails the subject of the lyric is first 'we' and not 'he'. It is inclusive of others, perhaps us too, the listeners. In making this a possibility it seems more likely the oppressive state in Off The Rails is less personal than in Pilot - more societal, governmental, what have you. Accordingly I feel more inclined to believe Pilot describes a combination of oppressive societal and mental states.

Staying in the first verse, another section that led me to my conclusion was the second couplet; 'Now he's trying the whole day to switch off time / By causing train-delay'. The subject of the lyric is not a pilot or conductor, as much as he might like to be – so how could he cause the trains to be delayed? The best answer I could come up with was: by throwing himself in front of one. Certainly a way of switching off time, certainly a way of asserting one's self-control when there are no other options, for whatever reason.

It goes without saying that to be a pilot is a metaphor for being in control, which the subject does not feel he even has but once per day. The second stanza I feel describes the experience of being unable to explain, well, 'this desperate state'. The subject is not only misunderstood but also inconsolable ('Not a word to compensate' for his lack of control and resulting desperation). That he is moreover unable to even relate his experiences by comparing them to pictures (which after all are supposedly worth a thousand words or so) is telling of the extent to which the subject is detached from his surroundings and/or peers.

Finally the symbol of the 'room of opaque air'. The substance is still air, it is still breathable, and yet since it is opaque and not transparent it renders the subject(/s?) blind. Blindness is maybe a metaphor for the mental state that the subject finds himself in, he is blinded by it just as by opaque air, he still functions (can breathe) but without control, or sight. However he does choose to step into the room, and this is at the end of the lyric, so this is perhaps another suicide allusion.

We end on desperation, 'if only', and indeed it is suddenly 'we' rather than 'he'. If only. Rather fatal.