Joey

I never understood this song until now. I understand because I've been dating an alcoholic for over a year and a half. The song speaks to me from beginning to the end. Joey is an alcoholic and in this song, she is in love with him and is willing to take all the blame and do whatever it takes to get him back after having the two have separated due to a falling out. She might or might not realize that because she's an enabler and co dependent because she's willing to keep him in her life no matter what. She doesn't even try to talk him into quitting drinking or seeking help anymore (she's tried before) because she's afraid of pushing him away. So, she remains silent as she watches him hurt himself. He can't keep a job or he can't hold onto any money because he spends it all on booze. they're always in a hole and she wants to draw him back by telling him that she'll take care of the money situation..I do that. She just wants to make him happy and secure. the truth is that no one will ever be able to make him happy. It hurts her to see him suffer this way because he's killing himself. She is willing to take the burden, the blame, and love him unconditionally for his love. It's a really sad love song. A love I wouldn't wish upon anyone. :-(

Turtlefreak, that's an interesting take. However, I think it is about a man and a woman who can't seem to make their relationship work because they've both been hurt in the past. The song takes place after a recent fight where they ended their relationship, and she's had a little time to think about what she's losing and doens't want to lose him. "Detours, fences...i get defensive"...she is afraid to get her, so she backs off the relationship at times. He's been hurt in the past too, and still hasn't resolved all his issues."I know you've heard it all before, so I don't say it anymore I just stand by and let you fight your secret war" is about him not letting go of his past which is keeping him from a future with her. "But if I seem to be confused, I didn't mean to be with you And when you said I scared you Well I guess you scared me too"...both of them scare each other off because of their pasts. "But we got lucky once before, And I don't want to close the door" meaning that they have meshed together well at times, and she doesn't want it to be over. I think the whole reference to the drunk and passed out thing is just an indicator that it was a recent fight, and he's probably out drinking his sorrows away. "But if it's love you're looking for then I can give a little more And if you're somewhere drunk and passed out on the floor Oh Joey, I'm not angry anymore"...she's saying that if he wants to be involved with her, she wants him too, and will give more of herself to make it work. She got angry and said some things she didn't mean, and I'm sure he did too...she knows it was a mistake and wants to work it out, and hopes he does too. At least, that's my thoughts on it...and I could well be wrong.

This is about loving an alcoholic inspite of the fact that you know that you can't save/help them...you can talk/cry/scream but it's futile. "i just stand by and watch you fight your secret war"..she knows he's beyond her help but she still loves him. (sigh i can relate)

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship with someone who has a drinking problem knows exactly what this song is about. I've spent many nights listening to this song on repeat. Even today I can't hear it without reliving the helpless heartache that comes with loving someone who doesn't love themselves enough to quit. I'll always love you, JB. Wherever you may be, I hope you're okay, and know that I'm not angry anymore.

this song is more about being in love with someone who has a drinking problem ("I just stand by and let you fight your secret war"). Think about if you had a loved one who has a drinking or drug problem and then look at the lyrics again. "And when you said I scared you Well I guess you scared me too But if it's love you're looking for then I can give a little more And if you're somewhere drunk and passed out on the floor "

It's a song I sing to one of my friends when ever I see her. the whole bit about "if you're hurting so am I" kind of sums up our relationship

I'm falling in love with this band. Oh, if only I were born 10 years earlier than I was. Then I could've been around when a lot of my favorite bands were at their peaks. :(

Thanks dsfire! That is it. After I posted, I contiued looking and found it also. I don't know why 4 non blondes made me think of it so. Once I saw Concrete Blonde I knew imeadiately that was it.

this is a great song to sum up a relationship long after it has ended.....

This is definately an ex-boyfriend song. I remember the first time I fell in love and how bad my boyfriend treated me. But, he spent a long time feeling guilty about it. The song signifies the connection between two people at a set time in this world. Does he ever think about me?