Former Self

The key to understanding this song is the title, Formerself. I think it's about looking back and not recognizing the person you used to be as you. When you show someone old photos you say "This is me with my friend so-and-so, this is me at the Grand Canyon... etc."I think the narrator is looking back on some pretty bad scenes - on drugs and emotionally all messed up - and saying that isn't me anymore.

It sounds like he holds little control over his mind. He wants some person to help him, or else he'll kill himself.

i do not think it is about killing. i always thought that "hold myself down with a knife on my throat" means that you hold yourself back from doing somthing that you actually desparetly want but you wouldnt do it as you know it has no good consequences. so knife on throat is merely expression. leaving desparation inside yourself and trying to get over it by yourself.

This is about a guy who used to have issues (anger, violence, etc) and has changed (thus the title former self). The first lines "decisions are few although I've found my peace avoiding the dark, caressing the sun" is stating how even though he has left that behind him and now lives in a world of light avoiding the bad things, something has happened to take that option away from him now, like he has no choice but to revert back to his bad ways in this situation.

"Despised by your touch, prefer to be alone, now lend me your soul it seems I'm losing mine" continues this idea. This situation caused him to withdraw from the good people in his life, and he recognizes he's about to do something that his old self would.

the chorus: "and this aint me, hold myself down with a knife to my throat. and this aint me, standing alone as the drugs start to work" the first half is clearly him recognizing that he is behaving dangerously, threatening his life as well as metaphorically holding himself back by acting like this. the second half emphasizes the disconnect with people this mindset of his has and the need to fill that void with something like drugs.

"filled by desire im calm as a storm" is describing how it is like to act out on these emotions and desires. "like a state of mind its someone you know" again referencing the old habits in himself resurfacing isn't surprising. "too soon, too cold this invitation" I believe is pointing at how he recognizes how quickly and easily his former self can resurface, as if its still part of him even after changing.

So all in all, it's about struggling with relapses into your darker or more evil former self, even after you've changed from that.