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City Hall Lyrics
All you people up there in City Hall,
You're fuckin' it up for the people that's in the streets.
This is a song for the people in the streets,
Not the people City Hall.
All you motherfuckers in the streets it's time to rise up,
Come along children and fuckin' rise!
Lots of times when me and KG are watchin'
All the fuckin' shit that goes down at City Hall,
We get the feeling we should fuck shit up,
Yeah we should fuckin' start a riot.
A Riot!
We have 'em screaming in the streets,
we have 'em tippin' over shit and breakin' fuckin' windows of small businesses,
and settin' fuckin' fires!
and settin' fuckin' fires!
and settin' fuckin' fires!
[spoken]
And then after the smoke is cleared, and the rubble has been swept away, me and KG will peek out our heads. We've been watching the riots on a monitor twenty floors below sea level, from a bunker.
We did it Rage-Kage, we beat the bastards of City Hall! [laughs] But now what will we do? We must rebuild. But who will lead us in the rebuilding process? Man, it's got to be someone with the know-how and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land. No, not me and KG, we don't have the cognitive capacity to lead... Alright, we'll do it!
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa [Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings]
Ah-ha ah-how,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
The first decree is to legalize marijuana. The tyranny and the bullshit's gone on too long. You old fuckin' shrivs who blocked it's legalization, you're banished from the land!
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings,
We'll lead as Two Kings.
Ahhhaaa [Two Kings, we'll lead as Two Kings]
Ah-ha ah-how,
Lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
The second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust, or ocean dumpage. From now on, we will travel in tubes!
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings, oh, yeah,
We'll fuckin' lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately. [Tube technology.] Chop, chop, let's go.
[spoken]
Third decree: no more... rich people… and poor people. From now on, we will all be the same... ummm, I dunno, I gotta think about that...
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings
Ah yeah, ah yeahhhahahaha.
Ha-ha-ho-hee, ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-ha-ho-ho-ho-ho.
[spoken]
JB: Oh my God.
KG: Ahh... What?
JB: Dude, the red phone is flashing.
KG: Oh, yeah.
JB: Let me scoop that up. Hello? Two Kings.
KG: Who is it?
JB: What?! No! No fucking way!
KG: What?
JB: Rage, there's a potato famine in Idaho, you gotta go down there!
KG: Oh my God... what?
JB: Dude, I gotta stay here!
KG: Why do I have to go?
JB: Please! Please!
KG: Oh, God, okay.
JB: Awesome... is he gone? Alright, emergency meeting of Parliament. All right Parliament, I know this is fucked up, but Rage, he can't be King anymore. Dudes, he's encroaching on my decrees! Seriously, let's make him "Duke," a kick ass "Duke." Or "leader formerly known as King," but-- uh-oh he's comin' back...
[sung]
We'll lead as Two Kings, oh yes
we'll really lead as Two Kings.
[spoken]
KG: Uh, dude?
JB: Rage.
KG: I went all over Idaho...
JB: Yeah?
KG: Uh, plenty of potatoes everywhere.
JB: What? There was no famine?
KG: Yeah, there was no famine, no.
JB: Dude.
KG: I don't know what's uh...
JB: A toast...
KG: A toast...
JB: Long live the "D."
KG: Long live the "D."
[clinking of glasses]
JB: Long live me. I'm sorry, I poisoned your wine.
KG: What?
JB: For the good of the land.
KG: You p-- I poisoned yours... huh heh, as well.
JB/KG: Noooooooooo!!!!!
No!
[sung]
City, city, city, city, city, city, shitty.
Shitty, city, shitty, shitty, city, city, shitty.
Hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall, hall.
People inside me are askin' me to smoke up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is talkin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause no one here is rockin'.
People inside me are askin' me to blow up City Hall,
'Cause everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em Robots.
Everyone is Rock-'em Sock-'em GO! OH!
[spoken]
JB: Don’t, cut that part out.
KG: We’ve got it.
--
JB: Um, do you believe in God?
KG: I believe, I believe.
JB: You do?
KG: I believe in God. I believe in God.
JB: [laughs] Y’do--
KG: I believe in God.
JB: Do you?
KG: I believe in God.
--
Malibu Nights
KG [spoken]: Yeah, but you didn't fuckin' come out with this [one]--! [cuts off on "one"]
[KG starts playing]
JB [spoken]: I got some lyrics.
[sung]
Malibu nights, tangerine dreams,
Malibu neighs, Malibu dreams,
Malibu, makin' a poo.
Stinky poo, lookin'd view.
Because it's time for my breakfast,
It's time for some cheese.
It's time for the stink,
time for the breeze,
time for the... hah-or-eeee!
this... is a good song... i <3 tenacious d.
What are "shrivs" (From the "first decree" verse)? Also, I can't believe they made an "Artist formerly known as Prince" joke ("leader formerly known as king"). Jack is usually better than that. Someone please explain how to find the "Malibu Nights" part. Thanks.
this is the funniest song in the history of music, seriously
lol what the hell??
hey maddox, did you just discover the word "fuck" or something?
hey maddox, did you just discover the word "fuck" or something?
This song rocks. I listen to it every day and each time it cracks me up. I think it's a funny take-over-the world-scheme like Pinky and the Brain. I love that they don't have "the cognitive capacity" to lead. Tenacious D rules. What's "TUBE TECHNOLOGY"?
Funny as hell... Jack Black and Kyle Gass are funny and brilliant song writers... Tube Technology... it's where we travel in tubes, like in the Jetsons... DAMN GOOD SONG!
yeah, OBEY THE D! shrivs refers to politicians and older 'holier than thou' ppl who think they are too good for the bad things of society, like Marijuana, so they banned it, thats it pretty much if you follow me
As far as I know there are at least two versions to this. The other version is great too, but instead of the second and 3rd decrees he just goes on more about legalizing drugs and then torturing the lead singer of the goo goo dolls. It's a real toss up to decide which one is better...