Well I'm finding it harder
To be a gentleman every day
All the manners that I've been taught
Have slowly died away
But if I held the door open for you
It would make your day

You think that I care
About me and only me
When every single girl needs help
Climbing up a tree
Well I know it don't take much
To satisfy me

Maybe it's whatever's in my head
That's distracting me
But if I could find emotion
To stimulate devotion
Well then you'd see

Well I'm finding it hard to say
That I need you twenty times a day
I feel comfortable so baby why
Don't you feel the same?
Have a doctor come and visit us
And tell us which one is sane

I never said I wouldn't
Throw my jacket in the mud for you
But my father gave it to me so
Maybe I should carry you
Then you said
"You almost dropped me"
So then I did
And I got mud on my shoes


Lyrics submitted by weezerific:cutlery, edited by culprit

I'm Finding It Harder to Be a Gentleman Lyrics as written by John Anthony White

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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I'm Finding It Harder To Be A Gentleman song meanings
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23 Comments

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  • +3
    General Comment

    A lot of men I know are trying to be gentlemen to girls, but some gorls consider this courtesy to indicate that the guy sees them as voulnerable. With the feminist movement guys really don't know with is considerate and what is rude. Is opening a door for a girl a nice gesture or are you showing that you wear the pants?

    Mokkion November 06, 2005   Link
  • +2
    General Comment

    First off, we've got a typo/mishearing in the lyrics. If you listen closely you'll hear it, and it fits much better in the meaning of the song:

    but if I held the door open for you It wouldn't make your day

    As others have pointed out, the guy in the song feels unappreciated. She wants the door held open, but she won't say thank you or be delighted by it - she just expects it. The woman is needy, and the guy is sick of having to help her constantly.

    BUT, the flipside is that the guy is selfish and uncaring. The writer emphasizes both side of the relationship, and admits "have a doctor come and visit us, tell us which one is sane". It's two sides to the relationship, and I don't think either one is "right".

    The last stanza is absolutely great. I think we've all been in that situation where someone is complaining, and you feel compelled to validate their complaint - in this case by dropping the girl in the mud.

    But you have to remember, the only reason he was carrying the girl is because he was more worried about his jacket than her. After he drops her, all he can think about is the mud on his shoes, caring nothing about his girlfriend, who is now covered in mud.

    ukyo43on May 30, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    Well I never said I wouldn't Throw my jacket in the mud for you but my father gave it to me so maybe I should carry you then you said "You almost dropped me" so then I did and I got mud on my shoes

    Hehe, thats great! I love it. Oh what? Yes, I AM going to see them tonight!

    ADiamondStripeon July 10, 2002   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    I love when he says "Every little girl needs help climbing up a tree". On one hand, the line seems so innocent and childlike. But, then I think of a mischeivous boy boosting a girl up a tree in order to sneak a peek at her "dainties" (then having to explain it to the girl that he shares his puppy love with- and doing so Eddie Hascal-style: "What did I do? Little girls need help up trees, and I was just being nice!") . haha

    GinaMarzon February 05, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    It starts off with a gentle and reasonable statement. and then the frustration come out...my frustration as well. what good are manners anyway, "but if ai held the door open for you it wouldn't make your day." To me, that line means that 'your indignance has nothing to do with me opening or not opening the door (or whatever it might be) - it's about you and you just try and lay guilt trips on me."

    "I'm finding it hard to say I need you 20 times a day. I feel comfortable so why can't you feel the same?"
    I laugh almost every time I hear that line. It describes what goes on between me and my wife. But maybe she's right and I'm just cold.

    mwon February 12, 2006   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    The 'and i got mud on my shoe' bit seems quite mocking, like it's her fault (by complaining nad hence Jack dropping her). It could also mean that even when he's sticking up for himself, as he goes in the end, he'll still somehow suffer because of it, so no win situation ha!

    ThePersianRoseon June 13, 2007   Link
  • +1
    General Comment

    the last stanza ranks among some of my favorite lines from Jack. this entire song seems to be about going out of your way to please someone you care about yet getting nothing but criticism in return ("you almost dropped me"). it is also about trying your hardest but getting shit on in return ("i got mud on my shoes"))

    schromeon June 20, 2008   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    . . . may I have a show of hands on who cares?

    Insane_Jon August 12, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    That is sweet that you saw them. How did it go?

    DoorsFanon August 20, 2002   Link
  • 0
    General Comment

    this song kicks ass. the last stanza is awsome and you dont even have to be a guy to relate, its just about doing the right thing, or even a simple favor and not getting the simplest "thank you" from the person you helped

    stuckonmondayon March 17, 2003   Link

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