Well, in my opinion this song is about being a young & maybe a little naive &/or introverted girl and finding yourself loving a man who is at first very charming, carefree & outgoing, and seems at first to be without limits, as in
"There was a time
you opened up every doorway
you didn't mind if everything
wasn't your way"
then that man starts to gradually become more introverted & shows their more possessive/obsessive side to you as the relationship progresses, even while they keep up the appearance of being carefree & outgoing to everyone else,
"Don't pull away
that goes against what you told me
I look in your eyes
I realize what you've sold me
is love in a vacuum"
so you confront them about the way they're acting and of course they deny it,
"I think you've changed
but you insist that
that's not true"
quite possibly they are an addict of some sort, my guess would be cocaine, &/or showing very obsessive behavior towards you (early on in the video for this song we see the man hanging a picture up, it is a very large portrait of Aimee & it is prominently displayed in his/their apartment for the duration of the song), thus their "love in a vacuum",
"You look so strange, so distant
that you're hardly you
Now I can see
how you have been acting different
You say it's me
but I know
that it isn't
it's love in a vacuum"
but still you are in love with them and don't want to leave them and you know that they are truly in love with you and they don't want you to leave them either, maybe they are convinced you can save them from themself, maybe they are so broken that the possibility of an overdose &/or suicide attempt is very real and you want to get through to them that their behavior not only dangerous but it is also just pissing you off and if they don't wise up they run the risk of loosing you, as in the lines
"You will be lonely
if you leave me alone", so you want to save them but can't get through to them due to the addiction &/or emotional problems they have,
"Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
love in a vacuum
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
You will be lonely
if you leave me alone
You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough"
you want them to understand that the love they are giving you is not enough when it is filtered through the vacuum of their drug addiction &/or emotional impairment,
"You will be lonely
you'll be the only one who feels this way
it's just not enough
and just wait
you will be lonely
Love in a vacuum
Love in a vacuum
and that's not enough
Love in a vacuum".
'Love In A Vacuum' for me is a hauntingly truthful acute argument on the loneliness of obsession and almost inevitable loss of love that follows people who are broken in some way or another; the obsessives, the coke heads, the drunks, addicts or the just-plain-old emotionally broken; a razor sharp, lyrically driven, deceptively poppy, yet ultimately-depressing-in-the-best-way song.
Quintessential Aimee Mann.
Ron and Nancy got the house but Sid and Nancy rule
I died eight years ago; I'm still a legend at my high school
I stole a Chevy and I wrapped it round a tree
But that's OK 'cause no one's gonna make the next century
I'm up in heaven now they say I'm here to stay
Where the clouds are really puffy and the angels sing every day
Alleluia
The cafeteria's got everything, it's gonna drive me mad
Cause it looks just like a big Hawaiian party that my mother had
It's like the worst Elvis film I've ever seen
Technicolor luau all on technicolor green
There's camping trips and donkey rides and singing round the fire
And they signed me up for surfing
But they can't get me in the choir
Alleluia
But there she was this morning getting fitted for her wings
Leather boots, magenta hair, and saying nasty things
I'd say she was an angel but it's stupid and it's obvious
I said you'll hate it here 'cause we're the only ones like us
It's crypto-fascist mania, it's silicon deliria
Yeah, she said, you're right, but I like the cafeteria
Alleluia
Hey God, we're the bad kids, we're so nasty, mean and vile
God looks like a guidance counselor, God's got that smile
God says, how could this be, that's really odd
I guess I'll have to check my records, silly me, you know, I'm only God
Alleluia
The waves are perfect and the sun will always shine
But there's got to be more to death than surfing all the time
I know the signs of self-destruction so I try to stop each new kid
Don't be like me, forever young, forever stupid
Yeah, I found love here, but I'll bet you'll find it there
Where they don't always make the same joke,
"Gee, you make a heavenly pair."
Alleluia
I died eight years ago; I'm still a legend at my high school
I stole a Chevy and I wrapped it round a tree
But that's OK 'cause no one's gonna make the next century
I'm up in heaven now they say I'm here to stay
Where the clouds are really puffy and the angels sing every day
Alleluia
The cafeteria's got everything, it's gonna drive me mad
Cause it looks just like a big Hawaiian party that my mother had
It's like the worst Elvis film I've ever seen
Technicolor luau all on technicolor green
There's camping trips and donkey rides and singing round the fire
And they signed me up for surfing
But they can't get me in the choir
Alleluia
But there she was this morning getting fitted for her wings
Leather boots, magenta hair, and saying nasty things
I'd say she was an angel but it's stupid and it's obvious
I said you'll hate it here 'cause we're the only ones like us
It's crypto-fascist mania, it's silicon deliria
Yeah, she said, you're right, but I like the cafeteria
Alleluia
Hey God, we're the bad kids, we're so nasty, mean and vile
God looks like a guidance counselor, God's got that smile
God says, how could this be, that's really odd
I guess I'll have to check my records, silly me, you know, I'm only God
Alleluia
The waves are perfect and the sun will always shine
But there's got to be more to death than surfing all the time
I know the signs of self-destruction so I try to stop each new kid
Don't be like me, forever young, forever stupid
Yeah, I found love here, but I'll bet you'll find it there
Where they don't always make the same joke,
"Gee, you make a heavenly pair."
Alleluia
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
Dar Williams: Well, it's autobiographical, but it didn't happen to me. I think it was inspired by a kid who died in a car accident in my high school, who was a real angel... He was high, it was a stolen car, he did wrap it around a tree. He was high a lot, I think, toward the end, and he was the type of guy in health class who you'd call a bad kid, and he clearly was not. And I always wondered if he thought or felt that he was a bad kid who would never go to Heaven... And, uh, I never smoked pot in high school, so I'm very free about the whole thing. I once said, "Mo' better kid to smoke a joint than go to the mall", and got in trouble with lots of teachers and stuff...(laughs) But he was kind of a loose kid, and he was really beloved as this kid who really loved other kids, and at his funeral service, this one friend of his said how he, this dead kid, said, "Do you ever get choked up when your dad says he loves you?" (Laughs) He turned out to be, like, a superangel! And that absolutely changed my life in how I trusted various forms of authority, after the kid who died... So that's to me that song...he's also a very funny kid.
Splendid: Oh, were some of the jokes his?
Dar Williams: No, although his brother came up to me and said, "You know you got his...there's something in that song where you knew him better than you realized. And, you know, he had a Biology Class beauty contest, and I got second place. That kind of thing.