Disarm

Here's a Billy Corgan (lead singer of SP) quote about the song: "It’s about chopping off somebody’s arms.. *g* The reason I wrote Disarm was because, I didn't have the guts to kill my parents, so I thought I'd get back at them through song. And rather then have an angry, angry, angry violent song I'd thought I'd write something beautiful and make them realize what tender feelings I have in my heart, and make them feel really bad for treating me like shit. Disarm's hard to talk about because people will say to me 'I listen to that song and I can't figure out what it's about.' It's like about things that are beyond words. I think you can conjure up images and put together phrases, but it's a feeling beyond words and for me it has a lot to do with like a sense of loss. Being an adult and looking back and romanticizing a childhood that never happened or went by so quickly in a naive state that you miss it."

I used to be obsessed with Smashing Pumpkins when I was in my teens and SP was the first concert I ever attended. I don't have a source but I do remember reading about this song years and years ago and Billy's commentary added so much more meaning to the song. I don't know where I read it or how accurate it is but the lyrics do seem to support it. As I recall, Billy's childhood was not ideal and he lived in an abusive home. "Disarm you with a smile" refers to Billy's attempt to disarm his parents' abuse by smiling thereby keeping everyone happy and reducing the chance of conflict/violence. "I used to be a little boy. So old in my shoes" is referring to Billy having to grow up too soon which is typical in abusive homes. Children become adults long before they should have to. "The killer in me is the killer in you" refers to Billy contemplating a vicious & violent retaliation towards his parents while they slept but recognizing that the concept of violence to solve issues is what his parents have taught him through their abusive behavior. He sees that the violent thoughts he observed were only created as a result of poor parenting. If he hurt his parents, he'd continue the cycle and nothing would improve. Billy chose to break the cycle which can be seen in the lyrics "what I choose is my choice" or "what I choose is my voice." A beautiful song despite the sad story behind it.

Billy Corgain said this song is about him and his father's relationship when he was a kid they no like each other

i think it's about society has no room for childishness, how society "disarms" him of his childish behaviour when he grows up and cuts that part of him out, which is also a part of them. and then the years burn (go by) and he's left feeling sad that his youth is gone. first time i heard this i thought it was about a school shooting, with a kid using violence to express his feelings (what i choose is my voice)

what this song means to me?? well it meant a hell of a lot back to me when i was like 14ish and id just started listening to rock music, this may sound stupid and it seems silly now but a lot of people hassled me for listening to this music and i thought this song just showed a lot of beauty and not what people would typically think from rock music...... there was a line that meant more to me than anything "i used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes, wat i choose it is MY choice, whats a boy supposed to do??" it was just like how i felt i had to do what i wanted and that i should ignore what anyone said to me about it if i felt it was right. So basically choosing what you want and growing up. Second of all i related it to a relationship and how the woman feels that the man is being immature and she feels that its time he grew up and he feels that a part of him is dying. She says she'll leave him if he doesnt start acting more mature and so she does, well theyre on a break to see if he'll grow up and she goes out with someone else for a while and then she comes back to her boyfriend and see's that hes matured but she's still going out with this other guy and she gets rid of him for her original boyfriend but he spites her back by not getting back with her, cos he feels she betrayed him he didnt want the break and he withered alone in denial. Anyway i could probably intepret it to a million different situations and those are just a few, songs are intepreted different for everyone.

another song from the perspective of a child, I like the "disarm you with a smile" concept. A powerful song inflicting emotion on everyone. If you vent emotion with truth, just purpose, and a high quality, artistic, unique take on something that almost everyone can relate to, you do have something. Who here putting or reading comments on this song didn't have some sort of negativity attached to their childhood?

I feel as though I can really relate to this song, or should I say, I feel as though I can relate to this feeling. Because that's really what I get from this song, feeling. I mean, having bad parents/ parents that hurt you (physically or emotionally), is a very hard thing to go through. It can be confusing. It can make you feel so lost. It can make you feel so helpless. I remember growing up, which can really be a tough thing to do on its own... I can remember being so angry, but how being angry didn't change my parents. I could get so angry, but it didn't stop them from hurting me. There was one point when I wanted to hurt myself, out of spite, being so angry at my parents- like, "I'll show you, you'll be sorry for hurting me, I may not be able to hurt you, but look how hurt you made me hurt myself." But besides that, there's this really tender aspect to it. Like, deep down inside your just a kid, a kid trying to make his way in the world, only ever wanting the best.

"The killer in me is the killer in you" God, even after all these years, that lyric still hurts. I think that, since this is proven to be about domestic abuse from a parent towards a child, it refers to birth; when he is born, he kills the parents on their insides because they never wanted him. But when he kills their spirits, he realizes they kill him - someone clearly innocent - as well, making them far worse than the helpless child they sired.

It's about Billy Corgan's painful childhood.

i like the idea of an abandoned person contemplating suicide. thats what i get from this song, totally relate