Vicissitudes

[Verse 1]:
Only four cans in but D & M's with my best friends
Well, one of 'em, the other is at world's end
And we talkin' about her, the perspectives
From opposite experiences but still connected
We know how each other feels, felt
Know why one another does, did, know life is Hell
And that love is worse
But alcohol and 31st beget the reflection
Apologies flow and now we're infected
Sweat, tears, cigarette smoke, and fears
And hopes, and dreams for the next year
Scotch, bourbon, insides starting to burn
Honesty havin' me learning
Havin' me yearn for the answer to an ask
I'm hating myself
The past is the past but it doesn't matter to the heart
Now, here I am, another can, another smoke
Going over and over what I just wrote
Going over and over what I just wrote
Going over and over what I just wrote
[Verse 2]:
3:30am and we out, back at it again
A new year but we both already mentally spent
Emotions high but heads low, toke another cigarette
Hug each other, then I finally jet
Now I'm walking, thoughts stalking, forming more questions
Did my feelings subconsciously form endings?
Did my feelings see emergence of guilt?
Is it my fault a possibly-beautiful thing was killed?
I know he'd say it aint, if that's the case
Am I just feedin' my ego?
Could I find some pleasure despite pain?
Is it possible for these two things to coexist?
Is it possible to fight when you feel so drained?
Is it possible to love when all you feel is hate?
Possible to battle through Vicissitudes unscathed?
Possible to remain silent about your scars?
Ha, nah, nah it ain't