I Would Do Anything to Get You to Go Vegan [2018 version]

I would do anything
To get ya to go vegan
I would do anything to get you to stop eating flesh and secretions from my animal friends
I'll try not to be too emotional
I don't wanna get too sappy
But if it would make you go vegan
I'd even hurt Mr. Happy
I would hit my prick with a stick
I would smash my cock with a rock
I would whip my thing with some string
I would choke my dong with a thong
I would torture my penis no matter how much it begs if you would stop eating animals, dairy, and eggs
I would poke my dinky with my pinky
I would burn my peter with a heater
I would stab my peepee with a tepee
I would bury my rod under a piece of sod
Send my penis
To Venus on a rocket ship
If you would stop putting corpses between your lips
I would stretch my boner round a corner
I would scare my post with a ghost
I would tickle my willy with a lily
I would throw a checker at my pecker
I'd get Mr. Hairy drunk off sherry
If it would make you stop consuming dairy
I'd squish my middle leg with a beer keg
If it would make you stop eating eggs
I'd attack my one-eyed snake with a rake
If it would make you stop eating steak
I'd do nasty things to my genitals
If it would make ya stop eating animals
I'd do anything
To get ya to go vegan
I would do anything
To get ya to go vegan
Don't make me hurt Mr. Happy
Don't make me hurt Mr. Happy
Be vegan
Be vegan