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Poofter's Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead Lyrics
FZ: While we're at it, we have a sort of a cowboy song we'd like to do for ya. This is a song that deals with the rapidly approaching 200th birthday of the United States of America, ladies and gentlemen! This is a song that warns you in advance that next year everybody is gonna try and sell you things that maybe you shouldn't ought to buy, and not only that, they've been planning it for years. The name of this song is (pardon me), "Poofters Froth Wyoming Plans Ahead".
Poofter's Froth, Wyoming
March Eleven Sixty-Seven
Take a letter,
Ms. Abetter,
An' our pigeons
Will be homing
To our jobbers in Dakota
And to Merwyn, Minnesota
This is merely just a note about
Performance to our quota
Well, we've all come out
To show dem,
An' the Elks have helped us
Load 'em…
Little packets full of jackets
Little rackets, little rackets
Little Poofter-Cloth Appointments
Little Poofter's Froth Anointments
Little hoods, little goods
Little doo-dads from the woods
The entire stock is shipping
(Oh, our shod is hardly slipping!)
To our markets of the world
Our wrinkled pennants are unfurled!
T-shirt racks, rubber snacks,
Poster rolls with matching tacks,
Yes, a special beer for sports,
And paper cups that hold two quarts!
Everything a nation needs
For making hoopla while it feeds
The trash compactors, small reactors,
Mowers, blowers, throwers & the glowers
This is Buy-Cent-Any-All Salute (HYULK!)
Two hundred years have gone ka-poot!
(Ah but we have been astute!)
Signed:
Anon. – Wyo. Galoot
March Eleven Sixty-Seven
Take a letter,
Ms. Abetter,
An' our pigeons
Will be homing
And to Merwyn, Minnesota
This is merely just a note about
Performance to our quota
To show dem,
An' the Elks have helped us
Load 'em…
Little packets full of jackets
Little rackets, little rackets
Little Poofter's Froth Anointments
Little hoods, little goods
Little doo-dads from the woods
(Oh, our shod is hardly slipping!)
To our markets of the world
Our wrinkled pennants are unfurled!
Poster rolls with matching tacks,
Yes, a special beer for sports,
And paper cups that hold two quarts!
For making hoopla while it feeds
The trash compactors, small reactors,
Mowers, blowers, throwers & the glowers
Two hundred years have gone ka-poot!
(Ah but we have been astute!)
Signed:
Anon. – Wyo. Galoot
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One of Zappa's funniest songs, I think. As Zappa states in the spoken intro, the song is about faddish American consumerism preceding the 1976 bicentennial. The song is in the form of a letter being dictated from some CEO-type ordering his workers to ramp up production of numerous tacky trinkets. The dictation continues right through the salutation. It's a brilliant song structure, don't you think?
This prophetic song was written and performed almost 50 years ago at the time this comment was written. Captain Beefheart says " This is Buy-Cent-Any-All Salute (HYULK!).Two hundred years have gone ka-poot! (Ah but we have been astute!) The writing was on the wall back then and now. Anyone with any brains could see how human over consumerism was destroying this country with its pollution. Then after 50 years, it spread throughout the world to cause a irreversible climate change and the catastrophes from the extreme weather. All along people were astute, i.e. knowing what was happening but did nothing to stop it, Now it's 250 years have gone ka-poot. and maybe america won't see the tri-centennial in 2076.