So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
So I sit here
Rotting from inside
Now watch me sit dear
Severing my ties
Just ask me why I am ashamed to pave the way
My self reluctance is to blame
Will anybody save me I'm afraid
What if I'm broken
What if I cannot win this fight
Would you believe me
Or just leave me here to die
And honestly it's hard to see
The future that's in store for me
I'm broken
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Don't believe a word I say
I crave the ways I've been
I'd be lying to myself
If I said I'm free from this
Without the need of agony
It's bringing out the worst of my own faith
Will anybody save me I'm afraid
What if I'm broken
What if I cannot win this fight
Would you believe me
Or just leave me here to die
And honestly it's hard to see
The future that's in store for me
I'm broken
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Well it feels like someone's testing me
And it's easier said than done to be so calm
But I know that you're watching me
What if I'm broken
What if I cannot win this fight
Would you believe me
Or just leave me here to die
And honestly it's hard to see
The future that's in store for me
I'm broken
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Rotting from inside
Now watch me sit dear
Severing my ties
Just ask me why I am ashamed to pave the way
My self reluctance is to blame
Will anybody save me I'm afraid
What if I'm broken
What if I cannot win this fight
Would you believe me
Or just leave me here to die
And honestly it's hard to see
The future that's in store for me
I'm broken
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Don't believe a word I say
I crave the ways I've been
I'd be lying to myself
If I said I'm free from this
Without the need of agony
It's bringing out the worst of my own faith
Will anybody save me I'm afraid
What if I'm broken
What if I cannot win this fight
Would you believe me
Or just leave me here to die
And honestly it's hard to see
The future that's in store for me
I'm broken
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Well it feels like someone's testing me
And it's easier said than done to be so calm
But I know that you're watching me
What if I'm broken
What if I cannot win this fight
Would you believe me
Or just leave me here to die
And honestly it's hard to see
The future that's in store for me
I'm broken
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Second guessing's all that's keeping me alive
Lyrics submitted by sokorny
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