I Would Do Anything to Get You to Go Vegan

I would do anything
To get you to go vegan
I would do anything to get you to stop eating corpses and secretions from my animal friends
I'll try not to be too emotional
I don't wanna get too sappy
But if it would make you go vegan
I'd even hurt Mr. Happy
I would hit my prick with a stick
I would smash my cock with a rock
I would whip my thing with some string
I would choke my dong with a thong
I would torture my penis no matter how much it begs if you would stop eatin' meat, dairy, and eggs
I would poke my dinky with my pinky
I would burn my peter with a heater
I would stab my peepee with a tepee
I would bury my rod under a piece of sod
I'd send my penis
To Venus on a rocket ship
If you would stop puttin' corpses between your lips
I would stretch my boner round a corner
I would scare my post with a ghost
I would tickle my willy with a lily
I would throw a checker at my pecker
I'd get Mr. Hairy drunk off sherry
If it would make you stop consuming dairy
I'd squish my middle leg with a beer keg
If it would make you stop eating eggs
I'd attack my one-eyed snake with a rake
If it would make ya stop eating steak
I would do nasty things to my genitals if it would make ya stop hurting animals
I'd do anything
To get you to go vegan
I would do anything
To get you to go vegan
Don't make me hurt Mr. Happy
Don't make me hurt Mr. Happy
Go vegan
Go vegan