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Lunatic Soul Lyrics

I can't describe what's going on with me
A different nature, moving rapidly
Being halfway here and halfway somewhere else

My whole life starts to flash in front of me
I'm overwhelmed in joy, quiet and peace
All words I know are three-dimensional
I feel all troubles are gone
I feel all troubles are gone

Timelessness, ineffability
I glimpse the spirits of my relatives
I see the others, the being of light
Shifting through a tunnel, long and dark

I regret all those things I had left undone
And I wish I could fix everything that was wrong
I wish I could tell you how sorry I am
This is not the end
It's the start of something that I'm really scared of
That I'm scared to life

I'm scared to life

I'm scared to life
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Cover art for Lunatic Soul lyrics by Lunatic Soul

While I welcome the concept that this album (and song) is about the death of a loved one or someone else, I have to say that it's pretty clear from listening to the album straight through what it's about; the narrator's death.

 From the very beginning, in "The New Beginning", the basis of the story is laid out. Here's a character who wasn't expecting to die at this point in time ("I thought you wouldn't come"), and is being spoken to by someone from the afterlife (possibly the ferryman from "The Final Truth"?), explaining that he has been expecting our protagonist's death, just not now. "Out On A Limb" erases any doubt this character's death; just read it. "Summerland" is the story of our protagonist telling the story of attending his own funeral; seeing his friends and enemies alike tell stories of him and acting like they were his best friend. "Everyone cries / Everyone cares / Or maybe just pretends", as well as "Tears & flowers / From the one / You never would expect", both show this. My interpretation of the 'waiting room scene' is a flashback to our character's death; family and friends mourning him when they get the news of his passing in the waiting room. On a similar, yet somewhat macabre note, the line "Oh, it's your big moment by the way" is about the observing of his body, family saying their final goodbyes. "your Summerland" refers to heaven, or his place in the afterlife.

 The second 'phase' of the album is told in "Lunatic Soul", showing what happens to our character when he finally realizes that he is dead. "Being halfway here / And halfway somewhere else" means that he feels like he should have done something more in his life, and describes 'pull' he feels to go back and fix it. "I feel all troubles are gone" and "This is not the end / It's the start of something that I'm really scared of" shows that he knows he's dead, but he's terrified of it. "Where the Darkness is Deepest" likely refers to the very human reaction of his mind immediately gravitating to the horrific and dark side of his death, and "Near Life Experience" most likely represents him attempting to go back to life and the human world, either because of the 'pull' from "Lunatic Soul", or simply as a way to escape this fear.

 The next 'phase' of the album begins in "Adrift". This is kind of the first sign we get of the protagonist having acceptance of his own death, but it doesn't come naturally. The song shows the character encountering another soul that he is familiar with, possibly a deceased family member. I have to post a long quote in order to explain this properly, so here we go: "How many lives we live / Poised between heaven and earth / How many times we die / Trying for rebirth with a different mask / No matter where we go / Souls adrift never say goodbye". Alright. The obvious interpretation of "How many times we die / Trying for rebirth with a different mask" is that the narrator is suddenly aware of his previous lives (rebirths), and is realizing that it's a natural part of him changing and entering a new one.

 "The Final Truth" forms the final phase of our character's story. The song opens with him realizing the value of his life, and wondering what the world will be like without him ("I never would have thought those things / Could have such meaning / Until he asked me to / Give them back / What will survive of me?"). He then transitions to a more selfish view, with "If I sever the past / It will be so dark here". This means exactly what you think it does;if I leave, this world has no hope. His interaction with The Ferryman (which I'm not going to post here) reveals that our character has a choice. He can either be reborn exactly as he is now, with all his memories, BUT be erased from everyone's memories ("you must be forgotten"), or he can be reborn into a completely new body and life, and "in their hearts you'll stay forever". This leaves the listener at a cliffhanger. No answer is ever provided from the protagonist, nor is one clearly given in "Lunatic Soul II", "Impressions", or "Walking on A Flashlight Beam". So which would it have been? Would the character have opted to reborn as-is, to fix the "pull"? or would he go back and start over? Maybe this isn't meant for the character to answer -- it's one that can only be filled in by human nature. Would you rather start again, or start over?
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