Domestic Violins

“Where’s the remote? Get me a remote and get me a beer now! I swear, you’re gonna be sorry!”
“They may be lovable, but they’re also confused!”
When I get home from work
There’s toys all over the place
I thought I told you
I like stuff in its place
No matter what you think or think you thought you heard
I always get the last word
“What’s a guy gotta do to get some dinner around this place?”
Aw, those churches are all full of hypocrites
Those cashiers are too slow
There’s too many foreigners in this town
What else do you wanna know?
No matter what you think or think you thought you heard
I always get the last word
“What’s a guy gotta do to get some dinner around this place?”
“You’re goin’ places, Alice! To the moon, Alice! To the moon!”
“Here’s Johnny!”
“Honey, I’m home!”
I’ll show you and those kids some discipline just like my dad did
Aw, c’mon, that’s women’s work!
You know what, you’re getting fat!
No matter what you think or think you thought you heard
I always get the last word
“You should thank your lucky stars you’re even with a guy like me!
You couldn’t get nobody else! Look out, you’re blocking the TV!”
No matter what you think or think you thought you heard
I always get the last word
“He really is a sweet guy, he’s just having a bad day. No, that’s not bruises, no. Oh, this little thing? Oh, it’s nothing! It’s just–I just fell down a flight of stairs, I’m just so clumsy!”
“Unless you’re ready to press charges, there’s nothing we can do. We have no legal recourse unless you press charges. What you need to do is go downtown, get yourself a restraining order, and take care of this filthy animal…”