Goober Got a Girlfriend

(This is not "My Sharona")
Goober got a girlfriend
Goober got a date
Goober got a girlfriend
Goober bagged a babe
Goober filled out a questionnaire
Opie helped him check the squares
He paid five bucks to find a match
Edith was a city girl, city girl, city girl
Debbie and Sam were on the scene
Quoted Aristotle and she turned green
But the spark was started and all it did take
Was a six-dollar 'do and a two pound steak
Goober got a girlfriend
Goober got a date
Goober got a girlfriend
Goober bagged a babe
Goober and Edith had another date
It seems he had found a compatible mate
But it only lasted one episode
Edith was a gold digger, gold digger, gold digger
Daphne and Skippy were a wild pair
Otis plays cop and Floyd cuts hair
Ernie T. Bass was throwing stones
And Helen Krump won't leave Andy alone
Well Goober got a girlfriend
Uncle Ollie had to say
Goober made his love connection the Mayberry way
Goober got a girlfriend
Goober got a date
Goober got a girlfriend
Goober bagged a babe
Alright!
Ziggens were on tour but the stage fell down
So the Hollywood types were coming around
Everybody pitches in to lend a hand
The Darlings had a jug band, jug band, jug band
Goober thought his dog could throw his voice
But he held no grudge against the boys
Barney says "nip it!" and "boom" a lot
"And they call the man or that meat will rot"
Well, Goober's digging a stocking
And Barney threw his butt in jail
Edith got a restraining order
So he sold his comic books for bail
Now he's running for the border
And Andy's telling the tale
How Goober got a girlfriend
Now we gotta, we gotta, we gotta keep 'em separated