Don't Know

Once upon a time a million years ago
I was drinking on a plane
I asked the pilot
“What do all these buttons do?”

He said I don’t know
I don’t fucking know

Then on some stupid beach
I wanted rum and coke
I’d barely only spoke
She said “What goes in that?”
I said I don’t know

Please don’t think I’m being beastly
It’s only just my memory betrays me
Then:

I ended up in jail
Cigarettes for sale
Toiletries and drugs
Tobacco by the plug
Head to toe in blue
And every time a screw
Asked me what I’d done
My reply was one of

I don’t know