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What Will I Remember? Lyrics
What will I remember?
What will I forget?
When this life is ended, and gone,
what will I regret?
If tomorrow I don't wake up
what happens?
my sunrise or sunset?
If I never were born, if I never died, would it even matter at all?
What should I decide?
I always imagined i'd mean something to someone.
if I won't, least I tried.
When my body suffers
When to breathe is pain
Is it really madness to sing?
think of breaking this chain
is the future my- god knows I have a past
wheres my second chapter?
Or will the first, also be my last?
Is my story over?
If i fall asleep?
will anybody find me and will anybody weep?
I can't even pretend I care.
but songs I never sing,
That means something
Yes.
That means something.
What will I forget?
When this life is ended, and gone,
what will I regret?
what happens?
my sunrise or sunset?
What should I decide?
I always imagined i'd mean something to someone.
if I won't, least I tried.
When to breathe is pain
Is it really madness to sing?
think of breaking this chain
is the future my- god knows I have a past
wheres my second chapter?
Or will the first, also be my last?
If i fall asleep?
will anybody find me and will anybody weep?
I can't even pretend I care.
but songs I never sing,
That means something
Yes.
That means something.
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Continuing with my minor analysis/ take on the album, "What Will I Remember" is Emilie contemplating treatments, the pills, electroshock, surgery, etc. and how she will behave after them. She contemplates her life and realizes how bleak it is in the asylum.
I also get a second interpretation from the story that she may not be in the asylum at this time, but contemplating going for the treatments to fix her psychotic episodes, not knowing how awful it truly is.
Something I noticed the ending note is extremely similar to the final note in "Ever" off of her album Enchant.
I always kind of got the idea that this song is about Emilie/Emily contemplating suicide and maybe attempting it.
I imagine that she took a whole bunch of pills or something and is expecting to die whenever she loses consciousness. The whole time, she wonders whether her life has meant anything at all:
"Is my story over? If i fall asleep? will anybody find me and will anybody weep?"
"If I never were born, if I never died, would it even matter at all?"
I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like a suicide contemplation/attempt to me. It would make sense, because in the next song, she is institutionalized, indicating that maybe someone found her unconscious and sent her to the asylum for "help."