1
I got to know that your heart beats fast and
I got to know I'm the only one for you
What have I become?
I'm a fucking monster
When all I wanted was something beautiful
My love too much
Your love not enough
My love too much
Your love..
Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side
Oh, how it aches and it aches
You make me wanna die
I gotta kill you, my love
I gotta kill you, my love
Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side
You said forever
Now you look right through me
You said forever
Did your words fall short like you
What have I done?
I'm a fucking monster
When all I wanted was something beautiful
My love too much
Your love not enough
My love too much
Your love..
Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side
Oh, how it aches and it aches
You make me wanna die
I gotta kill you, my love
I gotta kill you, my love
Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side
My love too much
Your love not enough
My love too much
Your love
I got to know I'm the only one for you
What have I become?
I'm a fucking monster
When all I wanted was something beautiful
My love too much
Your love not enough
My love too much
Your love..
Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side
Oh, how it aches and it aches
You make me wanna die
I gotta kill you, my love
I gotta kill you, my love
Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side
You said forever
Now you look right through me
You said forever
Did your words fall short like you
What have I done?
I'm a fucking monster
When all I wanted was something beautiful
My love too much
Your love not enough
My love too much
Your love..
Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side
Oh, how it aches and it aches
You make me wanna die
I gotta kill you, my love
I gotta kill you, my love
Oh, what it takes out of me to lay by your side
My love too much
Your love not enough
My love too much
Your love
Lyrics submitted by lingi
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A girl is stuck in a relationship. She's hesitant to leave the relationship, yet she feels self-loathing for staying in it because the person she's with is repulsive in some way/does bad things that she doesn't like. The girl feels that she loves the guy more than he loves her. It seems like their relationship started out real enough, but then he changed and became dark - or she was just blind to/tried to ignore what he was. It's ironic that she's calling herself a monster for staying with him and yet he's so much of a monster for doing whatever's making her consider leaving and/or killing him. The pleasant picture she'd envisioned for their relationship ("when all i wanted was something beautiful") is tarnished by his behavior/what he does and the fact that she allows herself to be with him despite this.
@v8pluver ....Ummm, yes! I'm going through this now! This song really EXPLAINS my shituation to a T! He's been so insulting, belittling, and has done some wacked out stuff to me. Head games from accusing me because someone told him I did something I didn't do (but no one told him anything) to threatening my life, put me in the hospital ICU and I almost died, but him going to prison was my fault and he lost a grandma before he got out & it's he claims that to be unforgivable, to hearing him complaining all the time what he thought I was doing wrong, demanding, wait on hand and foot, making me stay home as he left for hours, sending me many text messages n calling to see what I'm doing, where I'm at, who I'm with, asking my son to lie to me and spy on me to tell him what he wants to know, and then the ignoring me, neglecting me, & refusing to touch and love me as I begged for his love. Oh yes, that's just a little example of things I've gone through. He has cheated on me, lied to me, and told me everyday since he felt to come clean with cheating on me by telling me in less than a months time now. And he has already been gone almost a week now, sold our bed, took what he wanted and now saying he's gonna send me to prison with stuff he's collected on me, blames me for it all, and says he don't love me & hopes I die to give someone else who deserves life to breathe the air that's wasted for me....He's made me feel like the most terrible person ever and all I wanted was to be loved. He's made the effort in giving me hell everyday with something absurd that I'm beyond myself how he comes up with the things he does. I'm a mess because of it & have gone through this 12 years so far. I know he did all of this on purpose & that's been his entire plan, what's even more sad & pathetic I I do love him still even after all of that. I've got a heart of gold, I'm forgiving, and don't understand why I'm so terrible to him.
My take on it was that they started out happy but she let her insecurities take over. She became jealous and possessive which in turn drove him away from her emotionally, although it seems like a physical split is shortly to follow.
She realizes she's a monster for what she's done, and while it pains her, she thinks the only way to keep him is to kill him. Basically a, if I can't have you no one will, kind of thing.
She loves him to the point that it hurts, like fire running through her veins. He loved her but the tighter she holds on to him the more distant he becomes. Her love is intense he grows cold and impassionate. She can't stand how she feel's, two opposite emotions on top of one another. She hates him because he can't feel how much she loves him, and she almost wishes she could end him because he can not love her back in that same, intense, passionate, way. One person tore in half, fire, and ice, love and hate, passion and misery.
It's about a girl in a relationship with a narcissist. The more she gives, the more he takes. He knows she would do anything for him because she loves him. Her love is her weakness and it drives her crazy. She feels that the love she has for him is everything to her, while he takes her for granted. She feels so angry and pent up all the time from trying to please him and never getting the response she desires. She wants to kill the pain and he is the source of the pain.
"What it takes out of me to lay by your side" she is exhausted from listening to him talk about himself all of the time and never caring about her. She is drained emotionally from this person. She wants acceptance and love but just ends up feeling hurt and empty. She keeps hoping that it will get better but deep down she knows it won't but is too weak to leave.
@victoriad3 yes indeed
Co-dependence.