The Art of Forgiveness

I would build walls for miles around me
Around anything that hurt, any sensitive category
Kept love at an arm's length, it was natural to me
You did not agree
You said things like "unhealthy" and I took on the task
Of changing my pattern, all you did was ask
And all the walls all came crashing at a welcoming speed
I was convinced you'd never hurt me
And I used to cling to the back of your mind
But I must have let go at that moment in time
That she offered careless, physical joy
Both bouncing my heart around like a cheap rubber toy
And after countless hours of crying
Trying to forgive you, believe you
Grow a spine and leave you, grieve you
I've come to this conclusion:
No one prepares you in choosing to stay
How to dare share a bed again, keep demons at bay
She took something precious that was just meant for me
Not for her eyes to see
And I used to cling to the back of your mind
But you must have let go at that moment in time
That she offered careless physical joy
Both bouncing my heart around like a cheap rubber toy
And after countless hours of crying
Trying to forgive you, believe you
Grow a spine and leave you, grieve you
And after countless hours of crying
Trying to forgive you, believe you
Grow a spine and leave you, grieve you
I've come to this conclusion:
After all the years you invested in me
All the love, tears and possibilities
I realise if the tables were turned around,
You wouldn't leave me now