This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
I was rolling through Montana
I recall like yesterday
Twenty years have gone now
But I know I'm mostly still the same
Does anybody ever really change?
I never thought when I got older
I would still be feeling this
Desire and yearning
But I've learned and I try not to wish
Don't want to wish it all away
I can drive all night out here
Turn the pages back year by year
Each face and every place in my life
Or I can let it all wash down free
And ride the river to the beckoning sea
'Cause that is where we're all flowing anyhow
I was holding onto nothing
I just realized today
Photographs and memories
Are not even remotely the same
Maybe neither one is true
Cause when I think of what I've done here
When I collect all the things
Set them out before me
This improbably gathering of dreams
So many left for me to do
I can drive all night out here
Turn the pages back year by year
Each face and every place in my life
Or I can let it all wash down free
And ride the river to the beckoning sea
'Cause that is where we're all flowing anyhow
I can still feel where you touched me
If I only close my eyes
Every finger of your hand
Was a whisper on my skin
As you drew the circles of the love
The love we had between us
The circle never ends
It whirls round and round again
I can drive all night out here
Turn the pages back year by year
Each face and every place in my life
Or I can let it all wash down free
And ride the river to the beckoning sea
'Cause that is where we're all flowing anyhow
That is where we'll all meet up someday
I recall like yesterday
Twenty years have gone now
But I know I'm mostly still the same
Does anybody ever really change?
I never thought when I got older
I would still be feeling this
Desire and yearning
But I've learned and I try not to wish
Don't want to wish it all away
I can drive all night out here
Turn the pages back year by year
Each face and every place in my life
Or I can let it all wash down free
And ride the river to the beckoning sea
'Cause that is where we're all flowing anyhow
I was holding onto nothing
I just realized today
Photographs and memories
Are not even remotely the same
Maybe neither one is true
Cause when I think of what I've done here
When I collect all the things
Set them out before me
This improbably gathering of dreams
So many left for me to do
I can drive all night out here
Turn the pages back year by year
Each face and every place in my life
Or I can let it all wash down free
And ride the river to the beckoning sea
'Cause that is where we're all flowing anyhow
I can still feel where you touched me
If I only close my eyes
Every finger of your hand
Was a whisper on my skin
As you drew the circles of the love
The love we had between us
The circle never ends
It whirls round and round again
I can drive all night out here
Turn the pages back year by year
Each face and every place in my life
Or I can let it all wash down free
And ride the river to the beckoning sea
'Cause that is where we're all flowing anyhow
That is where we'll all meet up someday
Lyrics submitted by bananahero
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