I Was Scared and I'm Sorry

I've been obviously on the verge of a mental breakdown this week
Stuck between your dirty sheets and back-lit memories
And I've been putting off things like getting my shit out of your apartment
I've been making up excuses about the things that you might need

And I've been trying to find out where everyone's been
But they're nowhere and I'm nothing
And I've been trying to stay as busy as I can

I finally broke on Christmas Eve
In an Outback Steakhouse bathroom while my family ordered for me
Haven't been losing sleep, no I pass out almost instantly
The bad dreams get worse every week
I think I'm losing a little of me

I'm getting better, but it's in small steps
I'm working on sleeping on the left
I just can't blame New York for this
And so I'm down again, but this time it's different
I'm mourning something that I miss
And that's better than being hopeless

I'm counting back on all my mistakes
From the back of the cop car where you told me you loved me
'Cause after that night, I got scared and I'm sorry
But hey, what can I say?

And I've been trying to find out where everyone's been
But they're nowhere
I'm still nothing
And I've been trying to find old friends

I'm getting better, but it's in small steps
I'm working on sleeping on the left
I just can't blame New York for this
And so I'm down again, but this time it's different
I'm mourning something that I miss
And that's better than being hopeless

It's getting weird to think
About the house on Manson Street
And how neither of us live there
It's probably empty
She watches Breakfast at Tiffany's, it calms her completely
I guess Sarah Marshall does the same for me
It's nothing when she's leaning on me and saying she's sorry
I'm obviously on the verge of a mental breakdown this week

I'm getting better, but it's in small steps
I'm working on sleeping on the left
I just can't blame New York for this
And so I'm down again, but this time it's different
I'm mourning something that I miss
And that's better than being hopeless