Terrible Love

The A.V. Club's review of High Violet gives a pretty good idea of the overall lyrical theme of the album and this song. "On High Violet, the band’s fifth overall, Berninger opens up like never before, using apocalyptic images of floods, bee swarms, and even brain-eating zombies to express the fear of a man who now must put a wife and young child ahead of himself." "[...] taking on a potentially trite subject–being a new father–and making listeners feel the sledgehammer pounding of a scared (but committed) man’s heart."

Here's my interpretation. Hopefully others can point out flaws in my understanding of the lyrics, or offer other meanings that never occurred to me. I don't think the lyrics are that cryptic to break apart, but it took me a while to give consistent meaning to every single line.

It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders, It's a terrible love and I'm walking in, It's quiet company,

The words terrible love, while also alluding to being infatuated and deeply in love, describe the heavy feelings of fear and anxiety from starting and loving a family. Spiders refers to creeping and tingling feelings, and the fear of walking into a web, to be doomed. Walking in refers to committing oneself despite said fears. Quiet company refers to how the feeling isn't really expressed out loud or saying anything; it's just there, lingering, and the future isn't certain. Another meaning I find likely is that quiet company refers keeping oneself composed and together, and not breaking apart from the feelings of fear and anxiety.

And I can't fall asleep without a little help, It takes a while to settle down, my shivered bones, until the panic's out, It takes an ocean not to break,

The meaning here seems clear enough to not need much explanation. There's a terrible amount of stress, and in turn it takes a terrible amount of will and effort not to break under the pressure of it all. Matt mocking himself makes sense sense as well, given his frequent wine drinking--it takes an ocean of alcohol not to break.

But I won't follow you into the rabbit hole, I said I would but then I saw your shivered bones, they didn't want me to,

Rabbit hole is an Alice in Wonderland reference, and describes the feeling of being lost and overwhelmed in a strange new world--i.e. of being a new parent. On a personal level for Matt, "you" refers to his wife. Matt saw that his wife has the same fear and anxiety as he does, and so he wants to be strong for her, to be the help for her as she's been for him. Matt (quietly) resolves not to mess it up and to be a good husband and father.

Having not long ago survived a relationship with a person who turned out to be a clinical psychopath, to me this song perfectly nails that kind of destructiveness. I re-listened to this at the tail end of the relationship, and it was remarkable how completely it fit the situation.

After the initial rush, this kind of thing indeed becomes a "terrible love." You are walking with monsters, or spiders, whatever creepy image fits. And it's "quiet company," because you doubt your own perceptions and can't even discuss them with the other person.

Anxiety sets in, and indeed you cannot sleep "without a little help." "It takes an ocean not to break," an ocean of wine, perhaps, as another poster suggested.

And finally, recognition of the gravity of the situation. You can't go any further down that rabbit hole of misadventure into insanity. You see the bones of the person, who they really are, and it's clear.

Of course, this track will mean many things to different people, I suppose that's the brilliance of good songwriting.

"It takes an ocean not to break"

probably one of the most beautiful lines ever written for a song. So much emotion and truth.

One night after dark I was walking my baby daughter to sleep in a stroller, and we came very close to walking into a web with a huge spider in the middle of it. I just happened to be listening to The National on headphones at the time too. That's when it occurred to me that this song is about the love a dad has for his kids and how complex that love is. During an early televised performance of the song (on Fallon maybe?), Berninger mentions that terrible love is a good thing. That fits. It's incredibly difficult being a dad, but it's worth it.

Anyway, that's what the song is about for me.

Hi, I'm pretty sure the lyrics must be like this:

The National - Terrible Love

It’s terrible love and I’m walking with spiders It’s terrible love that I’m walking in It’s terrible love and I’m walking with spiders It’s terrible love that I’m walking in this quiet company this quiet company

It’s terrible love and I’m walking with spiders It’s terrible love that I’m walking in It’s terrible love and I’m walking with spiders It’s terrible love that I’m walking in this quiet company this quiet company this quiet company

And I can’t fall asleep without a little help It takes a while to settle down My shivered bones Until the panic ‘s out

It takes an ocean not to break It takes an ocean not to break It takes an ocean not to break It takes an ocean not to break

Company This quiet company This quiet company

But I won’t follow you into the rabbit hole I said I would but then I saw Your shivered bones They didn’t want me to

It’s terrible love and I’m walking with spiders It’s terrible love that I’m walking in It’s terrible love and I’m walking with spiders It’s terrible love that I’m walking in

It takes an ocean not to break It takes an ocean not to break It takes an ocean not to break

sounds to me more like this:

and i can't fall asleep without a little help it takes awhile to settle down my shivered bones until the panic sets

but i won't follow you into the rabbit hole I said I would but then i saw your shivered bones they didn't want me to

the rest seems more or less correct.

It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders It's a terrible love and I'm walkin' in its quiet company

And I can't fall asleep without a little help It takes a while to settle down My shivered bones Until the panic sets

It takes a ocean not to break

But I won't follow you into the rabbit hole I said I would but then I saw your shivered bones They didn't want me to

It's easier to tell when you listen to a live version, aka Pitchfork's session with them.

I love how live he screams "It takes an ocean not to break" at the end… especially the 3rd time he sings it. Just really shows the emotion and it sends shivers down my spine every time.

What a great song. I'm really looking forward to the new album.

About the lyrics: Thank you very much :) But isn't it always "It's quiet a company"?

It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spiders It's a terrible love and I'm walkin' in its quiet company (etc with minor variations)

And I can't fall asleep without a little help It takes a lot to settle down I sailed a boat into the past except It takes an ocean not to break

But I won't follow you into the rabbit hole And I said I would but then I saw your skin and bones they didn't want me to

Like So Far Around The Bend, it's about watching people you love lost in self destruction. Spiders catch prey in webs. So, whatever he's taking to sleep, it's bringing him close to the edge and whoever he's singing about is already too far around the bend. He's always talking about the edge of temptation, the tipping point of personal wholeness. Actually, it's a lot like Achtung Baby era Bono.