This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
Seek and you will find, they say
But I've been looking everyday,
For a way past this wall that's in front of my face.
I'm on hands and knees searching for my faith
I know there's so much at stake,
But I don't know if I can take one more pat on the back saying I'll be okay
Can't you see my whole life is in disarray
You've got me desperate.
I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands
You've got me desperate (do You see me)
Desperate (do You hear me)
Desperate (will You help me)
You've got me desperate
I know You're my only hope
The only One who truly knows how it feels, what it's like when it all starts to fall
You're the One I can trust, who hears when I call.
You've got me desperate
I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands
You've got me desperate (do You see me)
Desperate (do You hear me)
Desperate (will You help me)
You've got me desperate
(You've got me desperate)
Some things I'll never figure out
Until I let hope erase my doubt
(You've got me desperate)
I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand,
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands
You've got me desperate (do You see me)
Desperate (do You hear me)
Desperate (will You help me)
You've got me desperate
But I've been looking everyday,
For a way past this wall that's in front of my face.
I'm on hands and knees searching for my faith
I know there's so much at stake,
But I don't know if I can take one more pat on the back saying I'll be okay
Can't you see my whole life is in disarray
You've got me desperate.
I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands
You've got me desperate (do You see me)
Desperate (do You hear me)
Desperate (will You help me)
You've got me desperate
I know You're my only hope
The only One who truly knows how it feels, what it's like when it all starts to fall
You're the One I can trust, who hears when I call.
You've got me desperate
I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands
You've got me desperate (do You see me)
Desperate (do You hear me)
Desperate (will You help me)
You've got me desperate
(You've got me desperate)
Some things I'll never figure out
Until I let hope erase my doubt
(You've got me desperate)
I know You hear me,
Would You give me a sign
Reel me in before I've fallen in line.
You've put me on a path I don't understand,
I'm standing on a ledge waving my hands
You've got me desperate (do You see me)
Desperate (do You hear me)
Desperate (will You help me)
You've got me desperate
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This is one of my favorite songs. https://fnfgo.io
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I think your first comment is closer to being accurate. The singer/song writers state "Millions of eyes can see, yet why am i so blind!? When the someone else is me, its unkind its unkind". I believe hes referring to the girl toying with him and using him. He wants something deeper with her, thats why he allows himself to be as a puppet (even though for her fun and games) as long as it makes her happy. But he knows deep down that she doesnt really want to be serious with him and thats what makes him.
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I think much like another song “Anti-Matter” (that's also on the same album as this song), this one is also is inspired by a horrifying van crash the band experienced on Nov 3, 2022. This, much like the other track, sounds like it's an extension what they shared while huddled in the wreckage, as they helped frontman Garrett Russell stem the bleeding from his head wound while he was under the temporary effects of a concussion. The track speaks of where the mind goes at the most desperate & desolate of times, when it just about slips away to all but disconnect itself, and the aftermath.
YouveGotMeDesperate: I seriously gasped when I read "To be so in love with God, and the scary feeling of doubting or questioning." because that's EXACTLY how I feel! I want so badly to love God and have complete and total faith, but there's always that nagging little thought in my mind that says "What if...?" I hate that thought, but I just can't shake it, and this song totally describes it. God bless you, too!
This song is so perfect for me. <--See my username? Ha.
Well... it's about doubting and questioning your faith. To be so in love with God, and the scary feeling of doubting or questioning. Sometimes it's so hard for us to feel God, and all we want is to just feel Him and know that He's real and here for us. It's the feeling of being completely desperate for God. To feel that every part of your being depends on His existence and love.
God bless you all.
The song is about doubting on God but you dont want to doubt on HIm at the same time and you're desperate to find the answer to those doubts.