We're Planning, God's Laughing

Yeah, this song is fucking incredible. I have multiple favorite parts in this one. The first is "Living a dream is running away from conscience Just secodns away. It's a long fall from the top. You just come home inside your soul." This part really makes me feel something when I hear it, cause I think of all the wrongs I've done, especially involving my addiction, & how I was able to keep doing these horrible things & not feel bad & just live in my little "dream" world by ignoring my conscience & trying to remain oblivious to the awful shit that was coming from my choices. Then when I'd hit rock bottom (internally), the second part would show itself...it'd all hit me at once. All the guilt. And I was forced to accept who I am & what I've done instead of continuing to run from it. I had to "come home" inside my soul. A place that felt so...foreign to me. Like I hadn't been there for a long, long time. Then I'd tell myself that I would be an addict/whatever I was that I was ashamed of at the time--no more. That I would leave behind that part of me..."I shot him, he's not coming back". But it was easier said than done. And all this nagging from my consience really got me down, so I'd drink/get high to escape the bad memories again. To feel okay again: "When a memory touches down, It can and will be the end of all your troubles. I drink until I can't get drunk I've done drugs so I can love"--that last line really gets me cause it makes me think of all the times I was put in an uncomfortable situation where guys had feelings/desires I didn't share, but I didn't have the strength to just tell them how I really felt so I'd get high in attempt to match their feelings...it didn't work too well, but I'd say the numbing affect was helpful...

Okay I think I'd have to say this is my #1 favorite line in the song--"you said this wasn't permanent, well it is..." because it can be applied in so many ways--like in relationships where one person sees it as just a fling & the other gets really emotionally attatched & is never able to truly let go...or that first experience with your favorite drug--the person who gave it to you may have told you the high would only last a couple/few hours, but what they SHOULD have told you is that once you know what it's like you'll never want to live without it again & these feelings & cravings could haunt you forever!

The "hell is a cold dark place" parts are really intense as well. The first one makes me think of how all things eventually turn to shit. The second makes me think of break-ups & overdoses. You didn't sign up for either of those when you got into a relationship/drugs--"this was not in the script"...You don't fall in love with someone & then they tell you "btw, this is gonna end tragically & really fuck you up", & you don't meet up with a drug dealer & hear them tell you you're gonna go home & do too much & end up in the hospital. These things just happen, due to the 'everything turns to shit eventually' rule.

Finally, the "don't stop waiting. I'm still breathing." line is also really meaningful to me. I think of how people started to give up on me & the idea that I could ever recover from heroin-addiction, which I think of, metaphorically, as the "coma" he describes. I was constantly trying but few ppl could recognize my efforts.

Anyway this song is perfection, I listen to it EVERY time I hit bottom--it's like my rock-bottom theme song lol. That's not the only time I listen to it of course, but that's when it makes me cry, & for a song to have that powerful of an affect, really says great things about the band. DDG is the shit. The instrumentals in this are extremely beautiful as well, btw.

best song on the album, hands down.