This is a hauntingly beautiful song about introspection, specifically about looking back at a relationship that started bad and ended so poorly, that the narrator wants to go back to the very beginning and tell himself to not even travel down that road. I believe that the relationship started poorly because of the lines:
"Take me back to the night we met:When the night was full of terrors: And your eyes were filled with tears: When you had not touched me yet"
So, the first night was not a great start, but the narrator pursued the relationship and eventually both overcame the rough start to fall in love with each other:
"I had all and then most of you"
Like many relationships that turn sour, it was not a quick decline, but a gradual one where the narrator and their partner fall out of love and gradually grow apart
"Some and now none of you"
Losing someone who was once everything in your world, who you could confide in, tell your secrets to, share all the most intimate parts of your life, to being strangers with that person is probably one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. So Painful, the narrator wants to go back in time and tell himself to not even pursue the relationship.
This was the perfect song for "13 Reasons Why"
DMC, we have a mid-thirties male found down, unresponsive
Possible overdose, substance unknown
Pulse is 60 and thready, respiration's eight
He's intubated and we're bagging him now
Uh, BP 90 over palp, patient is cool, pale, and diaphoretic
Has aspirated, uh, GSC is 3
Will update en route, ETA, ten minutes
As I fall deeper into a manic state
I'm a prime candidate for the gene to receive the drug addict trait
Blood pressure climbs at a dramatic rate
I seem to gravitate to the bottle of NyQuil then I salivate
Start off with the NyQuil, like, "I think I'll just have a taste"
Couple of sips of that then I gradually graduate
To a harder prescription drug called Valium, like, "Yeah, that's great"
I go to just take one and I end up like having eight
Now I need something in my stomach 'cause I haven't ate
Maybe I'll grab a plate of nachos and I'll have a steak
And you'd think that with all I have at stake
Look at my daughter's face
"Mommy, something is wrong with dad I think
He's acting weird again, he's really beginning to scare me
Won't shave his beard again and he pretends he doesn't hear me
And all he does is eat Doritos and Cheetos
And he just fell asleep in his car eating 3 Musketeers in the rear seat"
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu
I wanna get away from this place, I do
But I can't and I won't, say I try, but I know that's a lie
'Cause I don't and why, I just don't know
"Maybe just a nice cold brew, what's a beer?"
That's the devil in my ear, I've been sober a fuckin' year
And that fucker still talks to me, he's all I can fuckin' hear
"Marshall, come on, we'll watch the game
It's the Cowboys and Buccaneers"
And maybe if I just drink half, I'll be half-buzzed
For half of the time, who's the mastermind behind that little line?
With that kind of rationale, man, I got half a mind
To have another half a glass of wine, sounds asinine
Yeah, I know, but I never had no problem with alcohol
Ouch, look out for the wall, aim for the couch, I'm 'bout to fall
I miss the couch and down I go, lookin' like a bouncy ball
Shit must've knocked me out 'cause I ain't feel the ground at all
Wow, what the fuck happened last night? Where am I?
Man, fuck, am I hungover, and goddamn, I
Got a headache, shit, half a Vicodin, why can't I?
All systems ready for take off, please stand by
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu
I wanna get away from this place, I do
But I can't and I won't, say I try, but I know that's a lie
'Cause I don't and why, I just don't know
So I take a Vicodin, splash, it hits my stomach, then, ah
Couple of weeks go by, it ain't even like I'm gettin' high
Now I need it just not to feel sick, yeah, I'm gettin' by
Wouldn't even be taking this shit if DeShaun didn't die
Oh yeah, there's an excuse, you lose Proof so you use
There's new rules, it's cool if it's helpin' you to get through
It's twelve noon, ain't no harm in self-inducin' a snooze
What else is new? Fuck it, what would Elvis do in your shoes?
Now here I am three months later, full-blown relapse
"Just get high until the kids get home from school, homes, relax"
And since I'm convinced that I'm an insomniac
I need these pills to be able to sleep, so I take three naps
Just to be able to function throughout the day, let's see
That's an Ambien each nap, how many Valium? Three?
And that will average out to about one good hour's sleep
Okay, so now ya see the reason how come he
Has taken four years to just put out an album, B
See, me and you, we almost had the same outcome, Heath
'Cause that Christmas, you know the whole pneumonia thing?
It was bologna, was it the methadone, ya think?
Or the hydrocodone you hide inside your pornos?
Your VCR tape cases, with your Ambien CR
Great places to hide 'em, ain't it? So you can lie to Hailie
I'm going beddy-bye, Whitney, baby, good night, Alaina
Go in the room and shut the bedroom door
And wake up in an ambulance
They said they found me on the bathroom floor, damn
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu
I wanna get away from this place, I do
But I can't and I won't, say I try, but I know that's a lie
'Cause I don't and why, I just don't know
Possible overdose, substance unknown
Pulse is 60 and thready, respiration's eight
He's intubated and we're bagging him now
Uh, BP 90 over palp, patient is cool, pale, and diaphoretic
Has aspirated, uh, GSC is 3
Will update en route, ETA, ten minutes
As I fall deeper into a manic state
I'm a prime candidate for the gene to receive the drug addict trait
Blood pressure climbs at a dramatic rate
I seem to gravitate to the bottle of NyQuil then I salivate
Start off with the NyQuil, like, "I think I'll just have a taste"
Couple of sips of that then I gradually graduate
To a harder prescription drug called Valium, like, "Yeah, that's great"
I go to just take one and I end up like having eight
Now I need something in my stomach 'cause I haven't ate
Maybe I'll grab a plate of nachos and I'll have a steak
And you'd think that with all I have at stake
Look at my daughter's face
"Mommy, something is wrong with dad I think
He's acting weird again, he's really beginning to scare me
Won't shave his beard again and he pretends he doesn't hear me
And all he does is eat Doritos and Cheetos
And he just fell asleep in his car eating 3 Musketeers in the rear seat"
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu
I wanna get away from this place, I do
But I can't and I won't, say I try, but I know that's a lie
'Cause I don't and why, I just don't know
"Maybe just a nice cold brew, what's a beer?"
That's the devil in my ear, I've been sober a fuckin' year
And that fucker still talks to me, he's all I can fuckin' hear
"Marshall, come on, we'll watch the game
It's the Cowboys and Buccaneers"
And maybe if I just drink half, I'll be half-buzzed
For half of the time, who's the mastermind behind that little line?
With that kind of rationale, man, I got half a mind
To have another half a glass of wine, sounds asinine
Yeah, I know, but I never had no problem with alcohol
Ouch, look out for the wall, aim for the couch, I'm 'bout to fall
I miss the couch and down I go, lookin' like a bouncy ball
Shit must've knocked me out 'cause I ain't feel the ground at all
Wow, what the fuck happened last night? Where am I?
Man, fuck, am I hungover, and goddamn, I
Got a headache, shit, half a Vicodin, why can't I?
All systems ready for take off, please stand by
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu
I wanna get away from this place, I do
But I can't and I won't, say I try, but I know that's a lie
'Cause I don't and why, I just don't know
So I take a Vicodin, splash, it hits my stomach, then, ah
Couple of weeks go by, it ain't even like I'm gettin' high
Now I need it just not to feel sick, yeah, I'm gettin' by
Wouldn't even be taking this shit if DeShaun didn't die
Oh yeah, there's an excuse, you lose Proof so you use
There's new rules, it's cool if it's helpin' you to get through
It's twelve noon, ain't no harm in self-inducin' a snooze
What else is new? Fuck it, what would Elvis do in your shoes?
Now here I am three months later, full-blown relapse
"Just get high until the kids get home from school, homes, relax"
And since I'm convinced that I'm an insomniac
I need these pills to be able to sleep, so I take three naps
Just to be able to function throughout the day, let's see
That's an Ambien each nap, how many Valium? Three?
And that will average out to about one good hour's sleep
Okay, so now ya see the reason how come he
Has taken four years to just put out an album, B
See, me and you, we almost had the same outcome, Heath
'Cause that Christmas, you know the whole pneumonia thing?
It was bologna, was it the methadone, ya think?
Or the hydrocodone you hide inside your pornos?
Your VCR tape cases, with your Ambien CR
Great places to hide 'em, ain't it? So you can lie to Hailie
I'm going beddy-bye, Whitney, baby, good night, Alaina
Go in the room and shut the bedroom door
And wake up in an ambulance
They said they found me on the bathroom floor, damn
Sometimes I feel so alone, I just don't know
Feels like I been down this road before
So lonely and cold, it's like something takes over me
As soon as I go home and close the door
Kinda feels like déjà vu
I wanna get away from this place, I do
But I can't and I won't, say I try, but I know that's a lie
'Cause I don't and why, I just don't know
Lyrics submitted by b.EVAN.c
Déjà Vu Lyrics as written by Mike Elizondo Trevor Lawrence Jr.
Lyrics © Society of Composers, Authors and Music Publishers of Canada (SOCAN), Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Songtrust Ave, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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Been hooked on opiates for a while...this song came out in the middle of my addiction. This shit speaks volumes...emmm is backk niggaa