Today
Today I found 1000 steamin' hot dogs in my bathtub
A Goats head nailed to my wall
There was voices chanting in the toaster oven
And I drove to work from the backseat of my car
At work the boss was giving away tickets to his own hanging
And people were smoking joints out of their nose at their desks
The typewriter was gettin' lonely writing love letters
And the telephones were answering themselves
Whooo hoooo oooh
And the supermarket was havin' a free sale
All the turkeys were climbing out of their packaging and dancing in the isles with friendly midgets
As watermelons exploded with delight
Santa Claus ran naked through the city with his fangs on fire
A taco truck was being driven by a hyperventilating cactus
A mariachi band was playing water polo with a prosthetic head
and the furniture was sittin' on all the people
And the plates were eating all the food
Whooo Hooo ohhh yeah
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