(CATS) Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

SOLO (spoken):
Macavity!
MUNGOJERRIE:
Mungojerrie
RUMPLETEAZER:
And Rumpleteazer
BOTH:
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats
RUMPLETEAZER:
We have an extensive reputation
MUNGOJERRIE:
We make our home in Victoria Grove
BOTH:
That is merely our center of operation
For we are incurably given to rove
RUMPLETEAZER:
We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens
MUNGOJERRIE:
In Launceston Place
RUMPLETEAZER:
And in Kensington Square
BOTH:
We have really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bear
RUMPLETEAZER:
If the area window is found ajar
MUNGOJERRIE:
Or the basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof
RUMPLETEAZER:
Which presently fails to be waterproof
BOTH:
If the drawers are pulled out from bedroom chests
And you can't find one of your winter vests
RUMPLETEAZER:
If after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls
BOTH:
Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat!
MUNGOJERRIE:
"It was Mungojerrie
RUMPLETEAZER:
"Or Rumpleteazer!"
BOTH:
And most of the time they leave it at that
BOTH:
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have a very unusual gift of the gab
MUNGOJERRIE:
We are highly efficient cat burglars as well
RUMPLETEAZER:
And remarkably smart at the smash and grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove
MUNGOJERRIE:
We have no regular occupation
BOTH:
We are plausible fellows who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation
When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they won't get thinner
MUNGOJERRIE:
On Argentine joint,
RUMPLETEAZER:
Potatoes and greens
BOTH:
Then the cook will appear from behind the scenes
MUNGOJERRIE:
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow
RUMPLETEAZER:
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone from the oven like that!"
BOTH:
Then the family will say, "It's that horrible cat!
MUNGOJERRIE:
"It was Mungojerrie
RUMPLETEAZER:
"Or Rumpleteazer!"
BOTH:
And most of the time they leave it at that
BOTH:
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer have a wonderful way
Of working together
RUMPLETEAZER:
And some of the time you would say it was luck
MUNGOJERRIE:
And some of the time you would say it was weather
BOTH:
We go through the house like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath
MUNGOJERRIE:
Was it Mungojerrie?
RUMPLETEAZER:
Or Rumpleteazer?
BOTH:
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?
MUNGOJERRIE:
And when you hear a dining room smash
RUMPLETEAZER:
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash
MUNGOJERRIE:
Or down from the library there comes a loud ping
RUMPLETEAZER:
From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming
BOTH:
Then the family will say: "Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie *AND* Rumpleteazer!"
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!