So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
Age five just a little boy shy
Is he ready for the big surprise
He'll be playin' Lego in a dream
When the shadows come to life
Age nine then he should've been fine with a secret he's sure to keep
Two times and they tell a little lie
For the sake of him and me
Now it's over
I need closure
Hey! look what you did to me
While you were ticking me off
Gotta be stoned leave me alone
I'm waiting for mom to comfort me
But when I open my mouth
Don't say, nothing
Age twelve and it isn't going well
Now he's three years to the day
Confused, but unlike you
This feeling wont go away
Sixteen and the woman down the street
Has invited him to come inside
First time and it didn't feel right
It'll be the last time he tries
Hey! look what you did to me
While you were ticking me off
Gotta be stoned leave me alone
I'm waiting for mom to comfort me
But when I open my mouth
Don't say, nothing's wrong
I wont say nothing's wrong.
I wont say I wont say
I wont say I wont say
I wont say I wont say
Seventeen and all he's ever seen is
A limit in between the lies
It's kind of funny how a mind
Can keep living in denial
Eighteen is a very strange scene,
And hes still playin with the past
Expelled, maybe someone could've helped
If someone had known to ask
Hey! look what you did to me
While you were ticking me off
Gotta be stoned leave me alone
I'm waiting for mom to comfort me
But when I open my mouth
Don't say, nothing
Nineteen and he's innocently
Parked right beside a school
He stares at a boy sittin' there
And the boy stares at him too
He walks over
He needs closure
Is he ready for the big surprise
He'll be playin' Lego in a dream
When the shadows come to life
Age nine then he should've been fine with a secret he's sure to keep
Two times and they tell a little lie
For the sake of him and me
Now it's over
I need closure
Hey! look what you did to me
While you were ticking me off
Gotta be stoned leave me alone
I'm waiting for mom to comfort me
But when I open my mouth
Don't say, nothing
Age twelve and it isn't going well
Now he's three years to the day
Confused, but unlike you
This feeling wont go away
Sixteen and the woman down the street
Has invited him to come inside
First time and it didn't feel right
It'll be the last time he tries
Hey! look what you did to me
While you were ticking me off
Gotta be stoned leave me alone
I'm waiting for mom to comfort me
But when I open my mouth
Don't say, nothing's wrong
I wont say nothing's wrong.
I wont say I wont say
I wont say I wont say
I wont say I wont say
Seventeen and all he's ever seen is
A limit in between the lies
It's kind of funny how a mind
Can keep living in denial
Eighteen is a very strange scene,
And hes still playin with the past
Expelled, maybe someone could've helped
If someone had known to ask
Hey! look what you did to me
While you were ticking me off
Gotta be stoned leave me alone
I'm waiting for mom to comfort me
But when I open my mouth
Don't say, nothing
Nineteen and he's innocently
Parked right beside a school
He stares at a boy sittin' there
And the boy stares at him too
He walks over
He needs closure
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everyone that says sexual abuse is right, i was sexually abused as a kid and this fits EVERYTHING. my feelings and my actions, the metaphors fit to. i even tried to experiment with a younger kid when i was 16. we just want others to feel our pain to. so again its about sexual abuse!!
So sorry. Hopefully you have gotten help for yourself so you can stop transferring your pain to others.