The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
Sit back now
Let me tell you a tale
Where justice does not prevail
About an ill-fated life
So very full of strife
Where two wrongs do not make a right
So
When I was born
I did surely scorn
My proud parent's name
Then their lives went down the drain
Drove them insane
My birth was a curse
I bit the nurse
Oh, but I love the worst
I deserve to be slowly submersed
Dried out then laid in a hearse
When I was two
I poured super glue
Into my fathers hair
As he sat unaware
In his arm chair
Much to his dismay
Had to cut it all away
Oh, but it felt great
I deserve to be cut and filleted
Then tossed about in disarray
Until the pieces melt away
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was four
I'd wait by the door
With a knife in my hand
And a most devious plan
It would be quite grand
As the mail fell through the slot
The sharp edge he got
Oh, but I love the thought
I deserve to be tied in a knot
Broken bones and blood clots
When I was six
I used to trick
The next door neighbor's son
In the woods we would run
Time for fun
Hide-and-seek has a cost
He would be forever lost
Oh, but I love to scoff
I deserve to have my head lopped off
Hidden and covered in moss
Until this memory's forgot
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was eight
I used to hate
The color of my house
So as quiet as a mouse
I burned it down
To the ground
When no one was around
Oh, but I love the sound
I deserve to be quickly put down
Rotting six feet underground
When I was ten
I used to pretend
To drown in the sea
'Til they'd come to rescue me
Then preceed
To laugh in their face
Such a disgrace
Oh, but I love the taste
I deserve to have my brains displaced
All over the fireplace
Until this life has been erased
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was twelve
I used to delve
Into evil schemes
Just to elicit screams
Boost my self-esteem
Pushed my sister down a well
She just fell
Oh, but I love to dwell
I deserve to roast deep down in hell
Where no one can hear me yell
When I was fourteen
Nothing much happened
Well, there was that one time
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was sixteen
Life was frightening
My brother was quite dull
So with laughter in my skull
Pushed him in a hole
Then buried him alive
He barely survived
Oh, but I love the cries
I deserve to be battered and fried
In an electric chair that's set on high
Now that I'm eighteen
I still hate things
From this padded cell I call my home
No friends, no phone
No life to call my own
Here I will lie
Until the very day I die
Until my blood begins to dry
And I return to the darkness from whence I came
So
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
I'm exactly what I seem
Let me tell you a tale
Where justice does not prevail
About an ill-fated life
So very full of strife
Where two wrongs do not make a right
So
When I was born
I did surely scorn
My proud parent's name
Then their lives went down the drain
Drove them insane
My birth was a curse
I bit the nurse
Oh, but I love the worst
I deserve to be slowly submersed
Dried out then laid in a hearse
When I was two
I poured super glue
Into my fathers hair
As he sat unaware
In his arm chair
Much to his dismay
Had to cut it all away
Oh, but it felt great
I deserve to be cut and filleted
Then tossed about in disarray
Until the pieces melt away
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was four
I'd wait by the door
With a knife in my hand
And a most devious plan
It would be quite grand
As the mail fell through the slot
The sharp edge he got
Oh, but I love the thought
I deserve to be tied in a knot
Broken bones and blood clots
When I was six
I used to trick
The next door neighbor's son
In the woods we would run
Time for fun
Hide-and-seek has a cost
He would be forever lost
Oh, but I love to scoff
I deserve to have my head lopped off
Hidden and covered in moss
Until this memory's forgot
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was eight
I used to hate
The color of my house
So as quiet as a mouse
I burned it down
To the ground
When no one was around
Oh, but I love the sound
I deserve to be quickly put down
Rotting six feet underground
When I was ten
I used to pretend
To drown in the sea
'Til they'd come to rescue me
Then preceed
To laugh in their face
Such a disgrace
Oh, but I love the taste
I deserve to have my brains displaced
All over the fireplace
Until this life has been erased
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was twelve
I used to delve
Into evil schemes
Just to elicit screams
Boost my self-esteem
Pushed my sister down a well
She just fell
Oh, but I love to dwell
I deserve to roast deep down in hell
Where no one can hear me yell
When I was fourteen
Nothing much happened
Well, there was that one time
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was sixteen
Life was frightening
My brother was quite dull
So with laughter in my skull
Pushed him in a hole
Then buried him alive
He barely survived
Oh, but I love the cries
I deserve to be battered and fried
In an electric chair that's set on high
Now that I'm eighteen
I still hate things
From this padded cell I call my home
No friends, no phone
No life to call my own
Here I will lie
Until the very day I die
Until my blood begins to dry
And I return to the darkness from whence I came
So
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it's not quite what it seems
Not quite what I seem
Aw, hell
I'm exactly what I seem
Lyrics submitted by horrorcunt
Such Horrible Things Lyrics as written by .
Lyrics © TuneCore Inc., KILLPHONIC
Lyrics powered by LyricFind
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