So this has been.my favorite song of OTEP's since it came out in 2004, and I always thought it was a song about a child's narrative of suffering in an abusive Christian home. But now that I am revisiting the lyrics, I am seeing something totally new.
This song could be gospel of John but from the perspective of Jesus.
Jesus was NOT having a good time up to and during the crucifixion. Everyone in the known world at the time looked to him with fear, admiration or disgust and he was constantly being asked questions. He spoke in "verses, prophesies and curses". He had made an enemy of the state, and believed the world was increasingly wicked and fallen from grace, or that he was in the "mouth of madness".
The spine of atlas is the structure that allows the titan to hold the world up. Jesus challenged the state and in doing so became a celebrated resistance figure. It also made him public enemy #1.
All of this happened simply because he was doing his thing, not because of any agenda he had or strategy.
And then he gets scourged (storm of thorns)
There are some plot holes here but I think it's an interesting interpretation.
I don't want money or a thing
For what I was and what I am and what I'll ever be
I don't need to be overground
I don't need to give away my life or make a sound
All I ever wanted was the thing I couldn't find
Oh I tried to get away - run away, far away
Something kept me in my place - so I stayed and remained
I don't wanna make a judgment call
Take a stand or make demands or try to please you all
All I wanted was the truth and that I couldn't find
Oh I tried to get away - run away, far away
But my shadow followed me - every place, kept my pace
Well I don't belong anyway
Well I missed my call - what a shame
I don't want much of anything
Everything I got I earned through pain and suffering
I don't want you numberin' my days
I don't want you trying to immortalize my name
All I ever wanted was a little peace of mind
In all eyes ugliness was my face - a disgrace
Recognized lowly mess in my place - what a waste
Well I don't belong anyway
Well I missed my call - what a shame
And what I have you can't touch or see
All I have I got from God and that's all I need
All I ever really wanted was to stay inside
Well I tried to believe I was freed - in the lead
Yeah, I thought I could succeed - but it's not my need
Something there was in my way so I stayed - stood in place
Where forever I'll remain - it was not my way
Not my way
Not my way
Oh I tried to get away - run away, far away
All I wanted was a feeling like I'm warm inside
For what I was and what I am and what I'll ever be
I don't need to be overground
I don't need to give away my life or make a sound
All I ever wanted was the thing I couldn't find
Oh I tried to get away - run away, far away
Something kept me in my place - so I stayed and remained
I don't wanna make a judgment call
Take a stand or make demands or try to please you all
All I wanted was the truth and that I couldn't find
Oh I tried to get away - run away, far away
But my shadow followed me - every place, kept my pace
Well I don't belong anyway
Well I missed my call - what a shame
I don't want much of anything
Everything I got I earned through pain and suffering
I don't want you numberin' my days
I don't want you trying to immortalize my name
All I ever wanted was a little peace of mind
In all eyes ugliness was my face - a disgrace
Recognized lowly mess in my place - what a waste
Well I don't belong anyway
Well I missed my call - what a shame
And what I have you can't touch or see
All I have I got from God and that's all I need
All I ever really wanted was to stay inside
Well I tried to believe I was freed - in the lead
Yeah, I thought I could succeed - but it's not my need
Something there was in my way so I stayed - stood in place
Where forever I'll remain - it was not my way
Not my way
Not my way
Oh I tried to get away - run away, far away
All I wanted was a feeling like I'm warm inside
Lyrics submitted by Elimination
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