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I Want My House Back Lyrics
I just want my fucking house back,
Free me from this football hell,
And my kitchen is full of snacks.
All I want is a place to smoke my crack,
Without having to hide from the public,
Always sneaking off in the back.
All I want is a place to park my car,
Without having to use the street,
Want to keep it safe in my garage.
All I want is a place that I can hide in,
Where I can open up my slip inside,
I can run, I can take a dive.
Home is where my heart is,
Home is where I belong.
Home is the best place to take a seat,
Home cooked meal is what I want to eat,
On my own place mat,
I just want my fucking house back.
I just want my fucking house back,
With time to rest my dogs,
And plenty more time to find a cat.
All I want is a day to do the laundry,
But that's a bit of a quandry,
Because I gots no house to help me.
All I want is a place to keep things quiet,
So that I can play Scrabble in the nude,
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
All I want is a chance to scratch the floor,
'Cause I would rearrange my furniture in hopes to block the door.
'Cause i'd be home....
Is where my heart is,
Home is where I belong.
Home is the best place to take a nap,
Only place on earth that feels safe to crap,
Home is what I want and that's a fact
I just want my fucking house back.
Free me from this football hell,
And my kitchen is full of snacks.
Without having to hide from the public,
Always sneaking off in the back.
Without having to use the street,
Want to keep it safe in my garage.
Where I can open up my slip inside,
I can run, I can take a dive.
Home is where I belong.
Home cooked meal is what I want to eat,
On my own place mat,
With time to rest my dogs,
And plenty more time to find a cat.
But that's a bit of a quandry,
Because I gots no house to help me.
So that I can play Scrabble in the nude,
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it.
'Cause I would rearrange my furniture in hopes to block the door.
Is where my heart is,
Home is where I belong.
Only place on earth that feels safe to crap,
Home is what I want and that's a fact
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This was one of his very few podcast episodes. It was during Super Bowl season and he was having a party at his house but doesn't really like football that much so he banged out this tune and uploaded it.
This song reminds me of the poem "I'm Not A Man" by Harold Norse. I'm not saying Jason is a woman. The poem talks about how he doesn't like most stereotypical manly things, and he likes talking about his feelings. It's quite moving. Read it. Or better yet, buy The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry. You will be glad you did.
I do like this song. I never really understood sports, either. I play ping-pong, and run. The rents signed me up for soccer/football as a child for four years. I picked flowers, and bit my nails. But I don't mind the sport now. I can watch that along with tennis. Anything else makes me want to pull my hair out.
Hahahaha, I love him like crazy. This song makes me laugh.