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Benny the Bouncer Lyrics
Benny was the bouncer at the palais de dance
Hed slash your grannys face up given half a chance.
Hed sell you back the pieces, all for less than half a quid
He thought he was the meanest-
Until he met with savage sid.
Now sidney was a greaser with some nasty roots
He poured a pint of guinness over bennys boots
Benny looked at sidney:
Sidney stared right back in his eye.
Sidney chose a switchblade
And benny got a cold meat pie.
Oh! what a terrible sight,
Much to the peoples delight.
One hell of a fight.
Sidney grabbed a hatchet, buried it .... in bennys head.
The people gasped as he bled:
The end of a ted?
Well, they dragged him from the wreckage of the palais in bits.
They tried to stick together all the bits that would fit.
But some of him was missing
And part of him arrived too late,
So now he works for jesus
As the bouncer at st. peters gate.
Hed slash your grannys face up given half a chance.
Hed sell you back the pieces, all for less than half a quid
He thought he was the meanest-
Until he met with savage sid.
He poured a pint of guinness over bennys boots
Benny looked at sidney:
Sidney stared right back in his eye.
Sidney chose a switchblade
And benny got a cold meat pie.
Oh! what a terrible sight,
Much to the peoples delight.
One hell of a fight.
The people gasped as he bled:
The end of a ted?
They tried to stick together all the bits that would fit.
But some of him was missing
And part of him arrived too late,
So now he works for jesus
As the bouncer at st. peters gate.
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The basic story:
Some guy named Sidney pours his drink on the bouncer's feet. The bouncer gets mad and a fight ensues. "Savage Sid" uses a switchblade as a weapon, whereas Benny the Bouncer uses a meat pie. (You've got to wonder, where's the logic in that?) Sid wins (unsurprisingly). He stabs the bouncer in the head. He dies (unsurprisingly). But then he goes to heaven and so now he's the bouncer at the Pearly Gates. Presumably, he is not using pie as a weapon anymore.
It's actually a pretty funny story...at least it is to me...
I've always taken "cold meat pie" to mean his fist, but maybe that's just me.
I've always taken "cold meat pie" to mean his fist, but maybe that's just me.
Now, more importantly, does anyone have a clue what "The end of a ted" means?
Now, more importantly, does anyone have a clue what "The end of a ted" means?
I thought the "cold meat pie" might be cockney rhyming slang for something but an Internet search shows up nothing but speculation... But I did come across that a "Ted" might be a "Teddy Boy" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teddy_Boy
I thought the "cold meat pie" might be cockney rhyming slang for something but an Internet search shows up nothing but speculation... But I did come across that a "Ted" might be a "Teddy Boy" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teddy_Boy
@Pippin the Mercury Benny didn't "choose" a meat pie as a weapon. Benny was thoroughly beaten and killed, "and Benny got a cold meat pie."
@Pippin the Mercury Benny didn't "choose" a meat pie as a weapon. Benny was thoroughly beaten and killed, "and Benny got a cold meat pie."
Nobody seems to know what "the end of a ted" means. But as for the cold meat pie, the best answer I've heard is that it's a broken bottle used as a weapon. And there's already a bottle present from the pint of Guiness. Benny must have picked up the bottle when Sid put it down to wield the switchblade knife.
Nobody seems to know what the "end of a ted" means. But as for the cold meat pie, the best answer I've heard is that it's a broken bottle used as a weapon. And there's already a bottle present from the pint of Guiness. Benny must have picked up the bottle when Sid put it down to wield the knife. He might have sustained injuries causing him to upgrade to a larger weapon; namely the hatchet.
Nice little ditty about a bouncer getting way more than he bargained for. Love it, as with all the songs on Brain Salad Surgery ^_^
@NickBush24 This humorous little tune is actually my favorite song on Brain Salad Surgery. Not that I don't love the whole album! ELP was my favorite of the Prog Rock bands of the '70s. Mainly due to the excellence of this album.
@NickBush24 This humorous little tune is actually my favorite song on Brain Salad Surgery. Not that I don't love the whole album! ELP was my favorite of the Prog Rock bands of the '70s. Mainly due to the excellence of this album.