Heya Tom, it's Bob, from the office down the hall.
It's good to see you, buddy, how've you been?
Things have been okay for me, except that I'm a zombie now.
I'd really wish you'd let us in.
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand,
Why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demands.
But heres a FYI, you're all gonna die screaming.

All we wanna do is eat your brains!
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes.
All we wanna do is eat your brains!
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise.
If you open up the door, we'll all come inside and eat your brains.

I don't wanna nitpick Tom, but is this really your plan?
Spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe thats OK for now, but someday you'll be out of food and guns,
And you'll have to make the call.
I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough.
You never had the head for all that bigger picture stuff.
But Tom, that's what I do, and I plan on eating you slowly.

All we wanna do is eat your brains!
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes.
All we wanna do is eat your brains!
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise.
If you open up the door, we'll all come inside and eat your brains.

I'd like to help you Tom, in any way I can.
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me.
I'm not a monster Tom, well technically I am,
I guess I am.

I've got another meeting Tom, maybe we could wrap it up?
Know we'll get to common ground somehow.
Meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues who are chewing on the doors,
I guess we'll table this for now.
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well.
Thank you for your time, I know we're all busy as hell.
And we'll put this thing to bed, when I bash your head open.

All we wanna do is eat your brains!
We're not unreasonable, I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes.
All we wanna do is eat your brains!
We're at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise.
Open up the door, we'll all come inside and eat your brains!


Lyrics submitted by emotastictoaster, edited by SuperFan12

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  • +1
    General CommentAnd Everyone Is Jesus In Purgatory.

    Over-thinking it, much?


    "If something is funny than it has to be saying something." Apparently you're not one for fart jokes, then.
    "If there is no irony than [sic] it isn't funny." Actually, the vast majority of humor contains little or no irony.

    To me, the humor is multi-faceted: first of all, how would an undead, brain-craving zed-word be capable of formulating the complex argument that Bob presents?
    Secondly, the calling-out of many people's "zombie plans" - namely that they'll just hole up somewhere with guns and supplies and "ride out" the Zombie Apocalypse - which is logistically unsustainable.
    And third, the notions that petty-minded office diplomacy requires so little brain power that one can be literally undead and still manage to be the Obnoxious Guy from Down the Hall, and that Being A Douche extends beyond the grave.
    heidranceon August 02, 2011   Link

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