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I Am Afraid Lyrics
Um, I'll see you tomorrow. I might be a bit late, but I will be there this time. Uh, so, call me back tonight. Anyway ... OK?
I stand beside you
I face the future
I'll admit to you
I am afraid
I am afraid
As I stand beside you
I have denied you
I am afraid
I am not drunk now
I am not pilled down
My windows wound down
I am not brainwashed
I am not running
I am not hiding
My bet's still riding
I am afraid
I swing you high-o
I swing you low-a
I see your eye-o
I see you grow-a
I hear you crying
Your brother's dying
Be no more lying
I am afraid
Ruth's radio show
RUTH: Well, who'd have thought it? Thanks to my expose, all hell broke loose for Ray High as the "Porno Pen Pal" story burst upon us this week. It started harmlessly enough when pretty American fifteen-year-old Rosalind Nathan wrote to her pop hero, Ray High.
I am afraid
As I stand beside you
I have denied you
I am afraid
I stand beside you
I face the future
I'll admit to you
I am afraid
By my religion
I stand here naked
I cannot fake it
With God as witness
My little children
Who wait for feeding
I watch you bleeding
I am afraid
I am afraid
As I stand beside you
I have denied you
I am afraid
I stand beside you
I face the future
I'll admit to you
I am afraid
RUTH: High, one-time psychedelic flower child, now turned alcoholic vegetable, frantically encouraged a sordid series of what can only be described as letters. This steamy correspondence climaxed in this wide-eyed, innocent fourteen year-old's now infamous photo, with its suggestion of nakedness, underage necrophilia, and incest. High issued a series of what can only be described as "instructions" by return-of-post allegedly inducting this vulnerable little waif into his so-called secrets of stardom. She opened her heart to him. She loved to sing. But he seized upon her gullibility to test out his weird theories. Why did he encourage her? What was he after? Was she pushed? I think we should be told. Now there's been a dramatic new development. Although Ray High's albums have been re-released this week, decent normal people will be more interested in young Rosalind. She's a brilliant songwriter, a brilliant singer, and with my help, has just released a brilliant new record. I predict a smash hit for this talented, sexy, nubile young singer so rudely abused by that slimeball, Ray High.
Ray arrives at Rastus' place
RAY: What the fuck are you doing here, Ruth? You've come to gloat, have you?
RUTH: I'm with Rastus.
RAY: Rastus? ... You? ... Rastus?
RUTH: Yeah. I'm staying here as his guest. He's worried about the scandal. Thinks it could be the end of you.
RAY: Ruth, what do you really want? What are you doing here?
I face the future
I'll admit to you
I am afraid
I am afraid
As I stand beside you
I have denied you
I am afraid
I am not pilled down
My windows wound down
I am not brainwashed
I am not running
I am not hiding
My bet's still riding
I am afraid
I swing you low-a
I see your eye-o
I see you grow-a
I hear you crying
Your brother's dying
Be no more lying
I am afraid
As I stand beside you
I have denied you
I am afraid
I stand beside you
I face the future
I'll admit to you
I am afraid
I stand here naked
I cannot fake it
With God as witness
My little children
Who wait for feeding
I watch you bleeding
I am afraid
As I stand beside you
I have denied you
I am afraid
I stand beside you
I face the future
I'll admit to you
I am afraid
Add your song meanings, interpretations, facts, memories & more to the community.
Wow, what a beautifully powerful song! I'm not entirely sure of what Pete intended the meaning to be in the 'Psychoderelict' story. But I'll take a shot at it, just from all that I know about Pete and his music:
It seems like he's with a new girl, ready to embark on a new life and future together. But, he is afraid of that. There are no certainties in life, and sometimes being with someone new can make you feel afraid. Especially if the feelings towards them are strong, and you feel that your relationship is in their hands.
"I am not drunk now. I am not pilled down. My window's wound down." "I am not running, I am not hiding" - "Be no more lying" - "I stand here naked"
These lines make it seem like he's also ready to be 100% purely himself, which leaves him exposed and vulnerable. That also leaves him afraid of being rejected at some point for being himself. But he's willing to take that risk, because putting on a facade, or hiding behind booze and pills, and not being true to himself is too taxing on his soul. Even being so honest as to admit that fact that he is afraid of all this, which can be very difficult to admit to yourself, let alone someone else. But in admitting his fear, he's baring his soul that much more to this person.
That's just my take from many years of listenng to Pete's music and interviews, as well as reading his Autobiography. I could be way off base, but that's how I interpret it.