The song lyrics were written by the band Van Halen, as they were asked to write a song for the 1979 movie "Over the Edge" starring Matt Dillon. The movie (and the lyrics, although more obliquely) are about bored, rebellious youth with nothing better to do than get into trouble. If you see the movie, these lyrics will make more sense. It's a great movie if you grew up in the 70s/80s you'll definitely remember some of these characters from your own life. Fun fact, after writing the song, Van Halen decided not to let the movie use it.
All righty then
Picture this if you will
10 to 2 am, X, yogi DMT, and a box of krispy kreme's in my "need to know" pose just outside of area 51, contemplating the whole chosen people thingy when just then a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my birkinstocks, and me yelping "holy fuckin' shit!"
Then the X file being, looking like some kinda blue green Jackie chan, with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of vanilla chig champa, did a slow mo matrix decent outta the butt end of the banana vessel, and hovered above my bug eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was, "I hope uncle martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin pants!!"
So light in his way, like an apparition, he'd had me crying out...
"Fuck me!
It's gotta be
The dead head
Chemistry
The blotter got right on top o' me
Got me seeing E mutha fuckin T!"
And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said. "you are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it, and a warning for those who do not." Me! The chosen one. They chose me!!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school!!
(You'd better listen)
Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding cuz this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.
It was so real
Like I woke up in Wonderland
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story
And can anyone tell me why y'all sound like peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing cuz this shit never happens to me
Can't breathe right now.
You believe me don't you?
Please believe what I've just said
See, the dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head
See they took me by the hand
And invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed
Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again
Typical
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead.
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help. I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed
Can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me
Can't remember what they said
We don't know and we won't know
God damn shit the bed
Picture this if you will
10 to 2 am, X, yogi DMT, and a box of krispy kreme's in my "need to know" pose just outside of area 51, contemplating the whole chosen people thingy when just then a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this. Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my birkinstocks, and me yelping "holy fuckin' shit!"
Then the X file being, looking like some kinda blue green Jackie chan, with Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of vanilla chig champa, did a slow mo matrix decent outta the butt end of the banana vessel, and hovered above my bug eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was, "I hope uncle martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin pants!!"
So light in his way, like an apparition, he'd had me crying out...
"Fuck me!
It's gotta be
The dead head
Chemistry
The blotter got right on top o' me
Got me seeing E mutha fuckin T!"
And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose. He said. "you are the chosen one. The one who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it, and a warning for those who do not." Me! The chosen one. They chose me!!!! And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school!!
(You'd better listen)
Then he looked right through me with somniferous almond eyes
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down
This is so real
Like the time Dave floated away
See, my heart is pounding cuz this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe right now.
It was so real
Like I woke up in Wonderland
All sorta terrifying
I don't wanna be all alone
While I tell this story
And can anyone tell me why y'all sound like peanuts parents?
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real
Finally it's my lucky day
See, my heart is racing cuz this shit never happens to me
Can't breathe right now.
You believe me don't you?
Please believe what I've just said
See, the dead ain't touring and this wasn't all in my head
See they took me by the hand
And invited me right in
Then they showed me something
I don't even know where to begin
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed
Overwhelmed as one would be placed in my position
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending
To write it down for all the world to see
But I forgot my pen
Shit the bed again
Typical
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead.
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help. I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed
Can't remember what they said to me
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
Can't remember what they said
Bob help me
Can't remember what they said
We don't know and we won't know
God damn shit the bed
Lyrics submitted by Solarius, edited by Kyralik, merarkil, BrainBaked
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10 to 2 AM, X and yogi DMT and a box of krispy kremes....it was so real. Like I woke up in Wonderland....Strapped down to my bed, feet cold and eyes red. I'm out of my head. Am I alive? Am I dead.......can't remember what they said....goddamn shit the bed. Can anyone honestly not figure out this is about an X and DMT overdose, he is seeing wild images, can't remember what they said because he used too much, and then he ends up end the hospital not even knowing if he is alive or dead.
The hospital part could also be a part of his trip. The song ends with him on his bed realizing he forgot what the aliens told him and he shit the bed.
I don't think its an OD. I think the fun of the song is that he doesn't know if it was a hallucination or if it really happened ("this is so real", "this shit never happens to me"). Recall that at the start of the song he's able to tell his story to the doctor. I think the doctor thought he was nuts and committed him, and his confusion at the end of the song is from being confined and sedated in a mental hospital. The ambiguity about whether he was on a bad trip and imagined it all, or if he really did receive information from aliens about the end of the world and is being dismissed and locked up while we all unwittingly approach our doom is why the song is so funny.