Plastic Jesus

I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I've got my plastic jesus
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
Through my trials and tribulations
In my travels through the nations
With my plastic jesus I'll go far
Ridin' down the thoroughfare
With a nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead but he don't mind
Trouble comin' he don't see
He just keeps his eye on me
And any other thing that lies behind
[Chorus:]
With my plastic jesus
Goodbye and I'll go far
I said with my plastic jesus
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car
When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say damn
I can let all my curses roll
'Cause Jesus' plastic doesn't hear
'Cause he has plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul
[Chorus]
And if I weave around at night
The policemen think I'm very tired
They never find my bottle though they ask
Plastic jesus shelters me
For his head comes off you see
He's hollow and I use him like a flask
Save me!
I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I got magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel that I'm protected amply
I've got the love of the whole damn family
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
[Chorus]
When I'm goin' fornicatin'
I've got my ceramic satan
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car
Women know I'm on the level
Thanks to the wild-eyed stoic devil
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my car